The Naked Listener moves to furlough the blog

FROM THE MANAGEMENT

12.03pm local time / 12°C (53°F) cold and drizzly

The Naked Listener is making moves to furlough the blog.

Effective date is probably the Ides of March (a.k.a. 15 March 2012).

From then on, there will only be one static page for this blog (‘About’) until it is revived, if evah. Kinda depends on what I’ll be having for lunch in the next half hour.

I should hope my leave of absence is a temporary one, but it could turn out to be permanent, I’m sorry to say, considering the bad behaviour of people who:—

• troll the site
• troll me personally in real life
• send all manners of hate mail to me personally
• make derogatory insinuations about me in the real world
• make snide remarks right in my physical face

UNIQUE DISTINCTION

Generally, though, I’ve had people telling me right in my physical face that whatever I say, write, do or think are:—

• 廢話 (‘junk words’)
• 無意義 (‘pointless’)
• 無價值 (‘worthless’ or ‘without value’)
• 洋腔洋調 (to speak with a foreign accent or using words from a foreign language (usually derogatory) (idiom)

I even have the unique distinction of being accosted in the street on two separate occasions and almost threatened with physical violence if I didn’t “face facts” (unspecified) about two posts (if memory serves) that had absolutely nothing defamatory or hateful:—

• The most amazing way to change your looks | 11 Jan 2011
• What were you smoking taking stuff like this? | 07 Oct 2010

Moreover, I have had one ‘personage’ haranguing me for over a year that I should remove “Naked” from my blog name because it was “uncharitable.” It’s just totally unreal.

EXPECTATIONS

I’ve been in white-hot anger mode for quite some time, for a variety of reasons and causes that are too long and complicated to explain.

“I would appreciate it if you yourselves would step back from your cheese and crackers for a moment and tell me exactly what your standards and expectations are for my presence to be acceptable.”

I’m kind of hard of hearing on my right ear too. Why don’t you tell it to me on my left ear instead?

I’m so bloody livid right now that I might just wipe this blog away just for the lulz immediately after this post. It all depends on what I have for lunch in the next half hour.

THE LAST COUNT (AND STRAW)

She didn't mind what I wrote

At the last count, I actually, personally, unequivocally wrote 911 posts (including this one), each averaging 1,500 words (and illustrated, no less) — plus two guestposts for others and one lovely post here from a guest blogger.

I won the Versatile Blogger Award in May last year, and the BBC actually unbelievably wrote a short piece about my getting it. See the blogroll at this website.

If the absence of this blog (as well as my own physical absence) is what you want and would give you pleasure and comfort, you got it.

It might not be your loss, but it ain’t my loss either.

Nobody said I wasn’t an accommodating person. Are you?

THE GOOD PEOPLE

I am grateful to have a handful of good (and goodly) souls who have followed this blog and put in comments that I treasure. Altogether, these good followers made the whole crappy exercise actually worth the crap.

The Naked Listener

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2012.

Images: Mr Junk Words via Wula-Life | Left ear by me | Mixtape chick via Roodo.

More email inbox commentary

1pm local time / 16°C (60°F) drizzly

YES, YOU’VE NOTICED temperatures here have dropped (again) steadily from 25°C (77°F) on Monday.

It’s been an angry and upsetting week for me (if you’ve noticed at all from my scribbles this week).

Just got some email comments from real people who didn’t follow proper netiquette about leaving comments.

____________________

The good ones (I think)

For the post “What’s it been? The Engine Room (Part 3)“:—

“These are in fact impressive ideas regarding blogging. You have touched some pleasant factors here. Anyway, keep up the writing.” — Maureen, received 09March 2012

Maureen dear, I think you’re commenting on the phat feature “You don’t blog?” because that post you were commenting on had nothing to do with blogging ideas.

*

For the ever-popular post “How well do you know your guitars?“:—

“I have spent a bit of time going through your posts, more than I should have but I must say, it’s worth it!” — Rodea, 08 March

Thank you. It would’ve been even more worth it if you’d just leave your comment there at the post instead.

*

For the post “Objectivity: Just another $5 word for subjectivity“:—

“Squares don’t fit in tight circles.” — lauhon on 04 March 2012

True. But I advise you, off-post email comments don’t fit in on-site posts. Namsayin’?

*

For the post “Notes: The Man Who Would Be Spy” about my late colleague:—

“I really appreciate this post. [...] ‘All that is gold does not glitter, not all those that wander are lost’ by J.R.R. Tolkien.” — kozinski on 25 Feb 2012

Actually the phrase should be, “All that glitters is not gold. All that wanders is not lost.”

*

And for no post in particular:—

“In fact your creative writing abilities has inspired me to begin my own blog now.” — anonymity requested, on 23 Feb 2012

This one clearly came after reading the super-longwinded mega-brain-damaged feature “You don’t blog?“. I thanked him (profusely) that my uncreative writing inabilities has managed to inspire someone, somewhere, out there.

*

These were real messages from real people. I emailed them back and they actually replied.

Again, I asked these people why they didn’t put in their comments on the posts themselves. Nearly all replied that they preferred to remain anonymous. To which I told them the default commenting system is anonymity (notwithstanding their ‘handles’ and email address) and they could switch off their OpenID or whatever if they don’t want their gravatars shown.

____________________

The clearly negative ones

Meanwhile I’ve gotten an earful (or eyeful, since they’re email) from some srsly hard-arsed people who hated and despised a couple of my posts recently.

*

‘Not worth anything serious’

One commenter considered my “You don’t blog?” feature has been:—

“… not worth anything serious because there are people who may not wish to accept any of your recommendations for their blogs due to [sic: because of] their own requirements.” — jjchan, on 23 Feb 2012 just after the last instalment of that feature

It’s fine by me if others don’t wish to accept. My recommendations are, believe it or not, suggestions. They’re not rules that one has to abide by. Never said as such. Derp.

Like I said in my posts, only you know what’s best for your blog. You don’t have to take in my stinkin’ input.

*

‘Uncharitable’

One commenter pointedly told me about my downloadables:—

“It is very uncharitable of you to make your downloads not in MS Word format as I am unable to make changes to them.” — koh29

Why the hell would you want to make changes to them?! If you wish to plagiarise them for homework, go ahead, plagiarise! Stop being a lazy f@#k and type the parts you need to plagiarise and do whatever the hell changes you want!

I’ve also explained to this personage that Microsoft Office documents contain macros (software input sequences) that some browsers and antivirus programs could interpret as being viruses. No, that didn’t gel with koh29. Your loss, not mine.

And, by the way, how is making PDF downloads “uncharitable”?

*

‘Foolish things’

Another commenter really took it personally about “A little about linguanophiles“:—

“Dear Sir,

I have read your articles on your website regarding Linguists and I write to complain about your subjective bias about the discipline of Linguistics.

I do not agree with you due to [sic: because] your English is poor in grammar and spelling. Your perspective is subjective and your assessment of Linguistics is not correct because I do not believe you not [sic] studied Linguistics before and therefore you do not understand.

I believe you must apologize for saying those foolish things about Linguistics and attempt to understand more about the discipline of Linguistics as I believe it will [sic: would] assist your [own] English fluency and overall academic standard of written work.

I have also read some [other] articles on your website and under my assessment you are a poor writer and [a] poor judge of character[,] and I belive [sic] you are making our [sic] Chinese people appear [sic: look] bad because you are not Chinese so you do not understand our Chinese way[s].”

I am thoroughly humbled by your staggering standard of English-language fluency and am deeply impressed by it. And your clear and present need for attitude adjustment.

A bias is already subjective, you idiot — is there even such a thing as an objective bias? Learn your education better.

My “assessment” (as you put it) is of course not correct. After all, it was only based on my two years’ worth of linguistics training at university level. My fault, I admit. I never said, insinuated, averred, pronounced, proclaimed — choose the words you like best — that it was better or more correct than anybody else’s. It’s just my own view — and many of my readers understand and appreciate that (except you). And, of course, my English is as poor as YOURS, twithead.

If you paid any attention at all, you sonofabitch bitch, you’d notice from my About and About me pages that YOU YOURSELF is a f@#king disgrace to the Chinese race. I’m embarrassed to have you as part of my race, you little odious c@nt.

*

‘Audience is Chinese’

Yet another brain-damaged commenter had to put in this general comment:

“I just do not understand why you have never written any of your post in Chinese as you are living in Hong Kong and your audience is Chinese.”

O rly? Where did you get that phantasmagorical idea that I knew how to read and write Chinese and that my audience is necessarily Chinese, my furry little friend?

Actually, I’ve done some technical sleuthing about the issue. Your problem is your browser isn’t configured for the correct Chinese encoding. That’s why you’re unable to read posts in Chinese but in (poor) English. I think you need to reconfigure your encoding and delete that folder called SYSTEM32 that’s preventing this.

* * *

Ladies and gentlemen, if you don’t like the way I drive, then show me a road on which to drive that I could meet your standards and expectations to make my presence acceptable to your esteemed requirements.

—>> My email is thenakedlistener [aroba] gmail [punto] com. <<—

* * *

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2012.

Images: ’I have nothing to say’ via Cascade Webdev | Pyrite via Critical Crossroad | Don’t give a f@#k via Some eCards | You can’t write via Mauradat | Brains via c4c.

Not what it turns out to be

11.40pm local time
17°C (63°F) drizzly

RATTA (an alias) has been in her new job exactly three weeks now. Judging from what she tells me earlier tonight, I don’t think she’s a happy bunny there.

The trouble is with the people she “has to work with,” as she knowingly puts it.

It’s not Ratta — I know her too well, and she gets along perfect with everyone.

* * *

Turns out the people there are really arrogant, heartless and bloodyminded.

I’ll just relay what Ratta told me in short, conclusive form just to show you how WTF her new employer and co-workers are turning out to be.

1. A morass of ‘products’ (tuition courses) that fit into three sheets of A3 size paper (11½ x 16½ inches, or 29.7 x 42 cm).
2. The course listings have been organised (by others) in quite a chaotic way, or at least not very organised one.
3. There are too many women employees (over 80%).
4. Most of the employees are under 25 years old (over 80%).
5. Ratta could notice (even with one eye shut) that EVERYBODY there dislikes to explain the work system or anything else to anyone, not just to her.
6. There is an expectation in the company that every new employee within a day or two of being hired to fully 100% absorb, digest, understand, appreciate, regurgitate, etc — choose the words you like best — whatever the hell had been badly explained to him or her the first time round (and the only time).
7. Any new employee is expected (nay, required) to say the ‘correct’ words on the go-get when conversing with customers (the parents) or handling enquiries.

You can’t ask a question

In one incident, Ratta was being shown the ropes to doing something by a co-worker. Ratta asked the co-worker to clarify a point. The co-worker at once went poe-faced but pretended to be nice. Then Ratta got her arse hauled into the super’s office.

(I wasn’t there to witness it, naturally, but I trust Ratta’s word on it mainly because I know really well and she’s rather good at noticing these things. Had I been there, as a ‘next-level’ sort of guy myself, a punch in that co-worker’s gob would’ve been my response.)

Jesus H. Christ, is it too much to ask for a slight clarification?!?

You have to be perfect

Another incident: Another supervisor asked Ratta how she would answer an enquiry about a new enrolment.

“I’ll say I just do a quick/small assessment first,” Ratta said what her response would be. That sounds all right, doesn’t it? Sounds all right to me even if I were running on lawyer mode.

But, NO, the supervisor launched on Ratta, telling her, “No! You cannot use the word ‘small’ in your answer.”

Would be f@#king nice to be told beforehand, woudn’t it?!!

There you have it. If you utter one single word ‘wrong’ (that is, not in their spiel script), your arse is unceremoniously hauled in front of the super for a pretend-to-be-nice-and-understanding drubbing whose words leave you in no doubt what could happen to you next.

* * *

Points 5, 6 and 7 really got up my nose. They really got my juices for the vicious going. There are lots of companies and lots of people like that in Hong Kong. No wonder when Hong Kong was ‘given back’ to China, nobody lifted a finger to help us.

Those are exactly the kind of conduct that earned Hongkongers the reputation of being treacherous and two-timing (best described by the Chinese colloquialism 反骨 faan gwut, to invert the bones, or turning the bones inside out).

I will not apologise for saying that. I mean it. I don’t like saying things like that, not about my own people or about anyone else. If you’ve lived long enough and have been to or lived in as many places as I have, you’ll know what I’m saying about Hongkongers.

* * *

My take

This place is probably the Hong Kong version of The War Against Terror (TWAT) in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Jesus H. Christ! these people are in the education sector.

Jesus H. Christ! these people clearly don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.

Jesus H. Christ! these people are psychopaths.

We bloody well appreciate that your eyes are constantly on the bottom line in an expensive town like Hong Kong were the rent is skyhigh and choices are near zero.

We bloody well appreciate everyone has a sales quota and it’s hard to keep it rolling, given our tougher business conditions caused by psychopaths in power.

We bloody well appreciate that new employees need some time (certainly effing more than three weeks!) to get used to your f@#king brain-dead, money-grubbing, cash-gouging system clearly based on that psychotic Tiger Mother shite.

We bloody well appreciate this new employee had never farkin’ worked in the education sector.

We bloody fuggin’ well appreciate your other employees are young (maybe too young) to appreciate that, to recall Ratta’s own words:—

“…all these women, all young, single and childrenless, clumped together just don’t seem to realise that women don’t always understand how a man, a father, any parent, would see things.”

Jesus H. Christ, even those among us who have interrogated criminals before expect them to ask back questions or be flummoxed once in a while about their own details!

Remind us about Ratta

I might not have mentioned this before, but Ratta used to work for a major Italian luxury sportscar manufacturer. She was in charge of a pair of high-end sportscars that were worth a staggering HK$9 million (US$1.16 million or £734,000) together. She knew everything there was to know (technically or otherwise) about those sportscars. Even ardent fans knew less than she does about them.

If I had a chance, my question to her employer:—

• Could any of your employees be trusted with even touching products costing that much? No? There’s your answer then.

If I could have it my way

So now Ratta is planning to restart her jobhunt yet again.

Right now, I have in mind to draw up a Litigation Risk Assessment for Ratta for:

• poor treatment of employee
• being given misleading information as to the nature of her job and of the expectations of her work
• party or parties, jointly and severally, carrying on a pattern of behaviour or conduct that on the balance of probability knowingly or unknowingly is leading or causing to lead to an unspecified and/or unspecifiable state of mental anguish in Ratta

Jesus H. Christ, these people clearly are ripe to be taught a lesson. And since they are in the education sector, they should be quite amenable to teachable lessons, don’t you think?

What can we expect in children when they’re taught by people like THAT?!!

Again, I remind you all:—

“If you tolerate this, your children will be next.” (English proverb)

* * *

Comment, muthareader. Will you leave one?

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2012.

Images: Ikea Ratta dolla via furry.org.au | Arrogant face via Terra Ferma Media | Arrogant T-shirt via Ken Segall’s Observatory | EjuKayShun via c4c.

Ratta’s progress

11.49am local time / 25°C (77°F) sunny and humid

SOME OF YOU callous caring readers have asked for updates about Råtta (an alias), whom I mentioned in previous posts (“Ratta’s bother” and ”Do this if you should get fired: A lifehack exclusive“).

I have good, bad, indifferent and what-the-eff news about her. Try not to snigger and giggle.

By the way, let’s now instead call her Ratta (with no å, the Ångstrom) because it’s one helluva chore to write Råtta.

The good news

Ratta’s landed a job!

You may remember Ratta is fiftysomething, not an age that makes for easy jobhunting nowadays.

She started her new job on 23 February, just three weeks after being made redundant at the old place on 29 January.

During that time, she went to no less than 20 job interviews of varying quality and what-the-effness that I reckon will be far too brickshattingly unbelievable to relate here.

That works out around one job interview a day. In my book, a person like her has dedication, stamina, disciplined and being thorough. Ratta can thumb her nose at the old employers, who can royally suck eggs (and a couple of other ‘things’) for giving Ratta her marching orders.

What’s her job now? We’ll get to that a moment.

The indifferent news

Ratta’s son is going to be 18 in a few weeks’ time, and he’s just started part-timing at some minimum-wage, sweatshop bucketslop owned by an internationally well-known American mega-conglomerate ‘catering’ Evil Empire (not McBongo).

It helps to work for an Evil Empire because the wastage of food is quite staggering. At the end of the day, Ratta’s son brings home literally three or four boxes of free food due for binning. The food is perfectly eatable — it’s just Imperial Policy not to resell today’s food tomorrow. Around 30 or 40 boxfuls (or 200 lbs or 90 kg) of this perfectly eatable food are thrown away every day.

Every little bit helps to shave the grocery bills.

The bad news

Ratta has a sister — let’s call her Fishtail.

Fishtail is 50-ish too, and she’s starting to get the same sordid aggro Ratta got just before sendoff.

Fishtail’s ‘managers’ complained that she wasn’t meeting her customer quotas for some time and now making moves to ship her out. Some of the other managers reconsidered and instead gave Fishtail an ultimatum to shape up (quota-wise) within three months, or GTFO.

Fishtail admits she’s the lowest-selling employee in her company — but that’s mainly because her pay grade doesn’t put her in more direct contact with customers. Like Ratta, Fishtail is in sales support — not exactly designed for grabbing sales prospects. Fishtail basically told the managers that three months to meet sales quota is … well … a near-impossible slog, especially given the just-turned-tougher business conditions here in Hong Kong.

So Fishtail rang Ratta up yesterday to say it might be her turn next to look for a job.

The WTF news

You’re gonna farkin’ like this one.

Ratta now works for a tutorial college — for infants and preteens!

You read it right. And if that wasn’t enough of a mindf*ck already, Ratta’s job title is personal education consultant. She’s on three-month probation before becoming staff.

Ratta is too embarrassed to even say her job title out loud. What flamin’ education consultant?!

She left secondary school with only two or three subjects passed. The older kids (roughly 10 to 12 years old) at the tuition centre are already better ‘qualified’ (in grades and the number of subjects passed) than Ratta herself!

That’s the state of our education sector here. It capitalises on the anxiety of parents who feel their babies must receive a constant piss-stream of anal-retentive structured tuition and drillwork in order to be able to speak 12.932 languages ‘natively’ (as opposed to ‘like a native’) and achieve Grade A’s in 23.8 school subjects before they hit 10.34 years old.

You know it, I know it, everybody else round the world knows it, but these parents obviously have never even heard of kids will become stale when overloaded with study and activities.

Just one single example from Ratta will suffice:—

Kid bumped himself in the crotch in the school washroom, wept and cried, got attended to by the staff, but no damage done. Asked why he was fidgeting all afternoon, the kid said he was tired from the morning picnic trip. And he’ll have to be in dancing lessons later the same day after this place. The kid is five years old.

I can’t stop laughing (in a sardonically sneering way) while I write this.

This is exactly the kind of unnecessary sphincter-expanding butthurt your kid has to live and suffer through for the next 15 years if you’re sold on that maddening craze called the Tiger Mother Syndrome now sweeping the world over.

Motherf*cker, did you tiger it?

I will not apologise for saying this, but that is the f@#king psychopathic crap propounded by that American-born Philippine Chinese lawyer/professor personage by the name of Amy Chua in her book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother“ (Penguin, 2011, 240 pages).

“Tiger Mother” is a parenting memoir of how Chua raised her two daughters (both at Harvard now).

The Wall Street Journal picked up on the spiel and even got Chua to write her own piece there (“Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior,” 8 Jan 2011, WSJ). That unleashed the fearsome terror that book contains on the congenitally brain-damaged (or 80% of the world population) who thought it’s the best thing since sliced bollocks.

Frankly, between you and me, “Tiger Mother” would cause you to:—

• EITHER think it’s the cure-all to handling your brats (if you’re brainless)
• OR send shivers down your proverbial spine (if you have half a brain left)
• OR buy the book and treat it as a training manual to milk cash off delusional parents with self-induced offspring anxieties (if you have a full brain)

Excuse my blasphemy, but Jesus Christ! man, I’ve never read such frighteningly neurotic stuff in my life before. The things people do to children. Stop concentrating on her well-formed English locution and pay attention to her ideas. My personal belief is to get children to achieve as much as humanly possible, aim high, shoot from above the belt, and enjoy the finite years on Earth. I’m no slacker and am not disposed to tolerate slacking. But “Tiger Mother” goes too far.

You, tomorrow

Realise there’s something important in my second point above. If you’ve bought into the spiel, you’re in fact producing, training, conditioning, inculcating, imbibing — choose the words you like best — a generation of psychopaths. Overachievers are psychopaths — you know this, you must do — because when you the parent is old and decrepit, slowly shutting down, no longer achieving so well, you no longer measure up to your kids’ overwrought expectations of your achievement. Kids who are like that, they’ll ditch the by-now-underachiever you one fine day in your geriatric hour of need. I’ve seen it happen before, first-hand.

Uptight and untidy

Listen, not to put too fine a point on things, what does [...]

Sorry, I’ve deleted/censored this part because I think I was being a bit too blunt, and just a bit too racially motivatedly racist.

But I will say Chua is as Great Lakes Yankee as you could possibly get. I had a highly Westernised Chinese mother, and Mum was nowhere near as Westernised as Chua. The stuff Chua wrote, I saw nothing Chinese. So I don’t know where Chua got the phantasmagorical idea that she’s ‘a Chinese mother.’

I don’t think she’s putting in enough effort to achieve the requisite grade in Chinese motherhood. Such an underachiever. Nil marks.

Not exactly [censored]

[This part deleted/censored]

Honestly…

[Some parts deleted/censored]

If “Tiger Mother” is a battle hymn, then I remind you, those who live by the sword, dies by the sword. Namsayin’?

I happen to think the kids at Ratta’s place are having their childhood years being slowly snuffed out of them by their very own loving, caring, EQ-sensitive, socially aware, socioculturally dynamic, delusional, neurotically obsessive parents with ching-chong chowmein testicles for brains.

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2012.

Images: Ratta via furry.org.au | Fishtail pop art via GMFS | Food box via Alliance Online | ’I was a nice wall…’ via c4c.

‘Are you feeling well?’

“Are you feeling well? Addressing others by their first names is intimate? I hate to think what sex is to you.”

(MX Cafe, sometime this morning, 04 March 2012)

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2012.