Lifehack: Self-defence (gropes)

Sunday 5 October 2008, 3.48pm HKT

For men: Welcome to the modern world. Attacker grabs your balls or dicky (or both). Imperative that you act before pain sets in. Prise into attacker’s little finger, bend it out, and BREAK IT. Anyone who grabs your goolies, I assure you, won’t mind it broken. You have to pay back the complement – it’s just plain good manners.

For women: Harder, but doable. One sharp slap into attacker’s ear to give permanent deafness. Complement the attacker on the amazingly healthy colour of his/her blood as it spews out from the nose and eyes.

Disclaimer: In both cases, you should consider hiring a good criminal defence lawyer for your defence. In law, you are as much to blame for the attack as the attacker.

Comments are closed.

Diary of a Psychokiller

take a trip with me to the darkside

Lipsync Lawyer

Stop bitching and know your law differently

Daring Fireball

Hearing ordinary lives talk

Girl in Florence

A Tuscan Texan immersed in Florentine life: passionate about food & wine | random moments | and travel

One Drawing Daily

I've been drawing and painting and learning (almost) every day since the 9th September 2014

An English Man In SF

a diary of life as an immigrant

MB Forde

Ghosts, Legends, Folklore and Writing

Motorcycling in Hong Kong

On two wheels in Asia's World City


Making her way back to Neverland one day at a time...

The Naked Listener's Weblog

Hearing ordinary lives talk

Basti in China

Random stuff from Hong Kong and China

Making Maps: DIY Cartography

Resources and Ideas for Making Maps

Pointless Diagrams

A new, meaningless diagram drawn daily, just 'cause.

This Blog Needs Words

The greatest site in all the land!

The London Column

Reports from the life of a city, from 1951 to now, compiled by David Secombe

Vintagerock's Weblog

Just another weblog

%d bloggers like this: