If you don’t see this blog updated for 20 days or more, you know I’ve been arrested

Saturday 9 October 2010, 4.20pm HKT


Catchy headline, right?

No, that’s not the story.

The story is this: I’ve been livid with rage since last night.

Right now, my anger has been swirling inside me for 14 hours 20 minutes (at this precise moment). I broke my pelvis three years ago and right now my nerves are figuratively and literally becoming raw with pain like I’m being lit up like a Christmas tree.

I have a HUMONGOUS temper when I’m mad. This I take from my grandparents on both sides. My temper scared my parents, whose tempers are no small deals either.

Do I have anger management issues? No, don’t ever say that about me. But I do admit to having an English anger issue. Think of the Normans newly arrived in England in 1066 and you’ll get the idea. I try to have a normal, standard-sized, proletariat anger — a Chinese blowup, an Italian or Brazilian, Argentinian, American, French or whatever anger — but I always end up with une colère anglais.

I rarely lose my temper, though.

I get angry and pissed off. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes less. But rarely do I ‘lose it.’

But when I do lose it, it can get really, really bad. The headline above is a hint.

What has caused me to be this upset?

Long in coming, if you ask me. Probably something in the water here as well.

First I get a bunch of ivory-tower-dwelling doubting Thomases making derogatory insinuations about me and my work. I don’t mind people being sceptical/skeptical, but when they know jack shit about anything and overdo the are-you-sure-you’re-right pretentious crap, then it becomes highly insulting. A lot of people are like that in this city I live in, and I’m sick and tire of their antics. Most times I try to back off, but sometimes I just tell them to fuck off and shove off. I try to keep my composure but it gets really hard when every other conversation descends into a confrontation.

Now I get dead-slow dumb arses who don’t pay attention to what is happening (or what I’m saying) going around lying and rolling back the things I tell them to do, as if they know what’s best (which they don’t) and how best to do it in (which they don’t either). They’re doing it just for kicks — just to see how I’d react.

I don’t mind a bit of lying once in a while. Honesty really is the best policy, and honestly speaking, some people just has to be lied to. These are people who are not sufficiently evolved to appreciate honesty, or even understand it, so honesty is wasted on them.

BUT DON’T FUCKING LIE at critical times or critical parts of work or life. You’re inviting disaster by doing that. You’re sabotaging the work and the lives of people around you. People can literally die (i.e. lose their lives) because of your brain-dead antics which are not fucking funny at all.

Right now, I’m in serious danger of committing common assault and aggravated assault with intent to cause GBH (grievous bodily harm). In violence, I’m a bit of a J. Edgar Hoover type of Stalinist: any person will do fine.

I promise you, as I sit here in front of the computer screen, the computer is almost literally cowering in fear from getting punched in the display and USB ports by me. This time round, the computer just rocks. It’s cooperating, fully. Funny how it’s always the inanimate objects that perfectly senses your state of mind.

People like me who grew up in several different places on earth are basically like this: we don’t like trouble and we don’t create trouble for others. Just because we don’t like trouble doesn’t mean we’re afraid of trouble.

Someone told me that but in reverse, that Hongkongers don’t want trouble, etc. Smug little bitch was turning the tables on me. I’m nothing like that, and those whom I grew up with are nothing like that either.

Bollocks! Hongkongers are the troublemakers. Proof? Stay in Hong Kong for a month or two. Then go abroad. Now discover everyone outside is so much nicer, more agreeable, more understanding and better-mannered than the Hong Kong locals. It doesn’t have to be abroad: even mainland Chinese are nicer than Hongkongers.

Today, we’ve got just a little bit too many smug little shits and know-it-all wiseguys here. That’s really the trouble we have now. Too often, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing with these people. You know what I mean. It wasn’t like this in the old days (and I’m hardly old).

I’m a skinny kind of guy, so, in hot, polluted overpopulated city like Hong Kong, I get picked on quite a bit. I try to lessen the aggro by not answering back, staying back, keeping cool, staying frosty. They just think I’m weak.

Then I fucking well ANSWER THE FUCK BACK AT THEM. In kick the ‘hairdryer’ treatment.

If you don’t know what a ‘hairdryer’ treatment is, get me mad enough and I’ll show you. It’s not meant to be pleasant.

Now, you’d probably be saying, “If you did that (hairdryer treatment), you’re burning your bridges.”

Well, basically, I have no bridges left with those who force me to give them the hairdryer treatment anyway. So whatever little there is to burn, it’s no skin off my teeth.

* * *

POSITION

I am not asking for your permission.

I am not looking for your validation because it’s worthless from a moron.

I am better than you yourselves in every possible way.

I improve faster, better and happier than you yourselves ever could.

You don’t know your own stuff and you are in no position to pass judgment on mine.

You don’t like my face, neither do I like yours. Your looks defame mongrels.

Turn around and walk away if my way of getting things done doesn’t please you.

I did not make derogatory comments about anyone, so don’t you bloody well ever start with me.

You think you know how shit works. Do you know how ‘this shit’ works?

* * *

 

You deserve it.

 

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