Hitched at the right time

Thursday 10 February 2011, 8.22am HKT

It’s my personal policy not to make direct references to people I know personally, much less write about them, for fear of upsetting them in some way that my under-powered loopy mind couldn’t foresee.

After a long time mulling over this, I’m making an exception this time — because this person I know is doing the best thing possible at the best-possible time in life.

‘Writing’ is getting married to ‘Jackhammer’ in a fortnight’s time.

Doin’ the right thing by doing it early in their early 20s. Congratulations. Well done.

(‘Writing’ and ‘Jackhammer’ are not their real names, contrary to my earlier post about names.)

* * *

Isn’t it a fact that a lot of creeps still leave The Important Things in Life till their 30s or 40s?

Their reasons are nearly always the same:

  • “I need to get my career on track first.”
  • “We don’t earn enough to buy those baby things for that yet.”
  • “We need to own our own home before we can get married.”

The list of bizarre reasons goes on and hilarity ensues after hearing them a while.

The Chinese 'kwa' or wedding tunic

And then they fly off the proverbial handle and blow all their cash on some whimsically romantic Disneyesque wedding gala, complete with puffy white wedding dress, frilly prom-night satin tux and a garden party replete with plaster-of-Paris-tasting gateaux. Or a ginormous Chinese restaurant banquet with shark’s fin soup and marinated abalones.

At the end of that, they then reset their earnings meter and slog it out income-wise literally for years to (a) pay off the wedding expenses, (b) pay for the eventual home and the more eventual abortion birth of their kid(s).

By that time, everyone’s too fagged out from ‘professional success’ to rear the kid(s) properly.

* * *

It just reminds me of Francis’ idiotic remark yonks ago that twentysomethings are just “too young” to get hitched and have families. Rubbish.

Fact is, lots of people in lots of countries (advanced or otherwise) marry in their early 20s, for love as much as for money or through arranged marriages.

Fact is, lots of twentysomethings (married or otherwise) have kids and bring them up with no untoward consequences.

Fact is, young parents invariably have wonderful relationships with their kids because everyone grows up together.

Fact is, we’re too young/immature/retarded to get hitched or have kids regardless of age if we can’t get our shite together — witness the fact that China and Singapore have had to legislate compulsory parental support by offsprings or their spouses.

* * *

It just also reminds me of an ex-colleague of mine, Fanny from Singapore, who got hitched and had a kid while still in her late teens without having to ditch her high-powered ad agency job for long. Her kid must be midteen by now. Mission successfully completed — everyone then get on with the demoralising business of being middle-aged, holding down the job against Young Turks, etc, etc, etc.

Not to put too fine a point on things, I find quite a lot of Hong Kong Chinese are too young to marry even in their 40s. But that’s just me.

* * *

Good things in life should last long and should come early.

Clearly, ‘Writing’ and ‘Jackhammer’ know this. Live long and prosper.

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2011.

Images (all pilfered and used without permission):

5 Responses to “Hitched at the right time”

  1. Once again you are absolutely right. As physical beings we are at our peak of fitness for parenting children while we are younger rather than older. I am glad that I am not trying to raise a kid at my age (47)- it was hard enough to keep up with a teen when I was ten or fiftenn years younger. Being married seems to be less and less important nowadays, at least downunder where most couples co-habitate (shack-up) for years before tying the knot. I didn’t marry my wife until we had been together for a dozen or so years and when we did it was in the Registry Office just because we didn’t want to waste money on a silly wedding. Perhaps if more people had their children earlier we would have a less dislocated society (and they will still be young enough to enjoy their grandchildren- I am).


  2. Guus said

    My thoughts exactly. It’s a cultural thing though. My Western friends do things in the order to works best, not a ‘prescribed’ order.

    I got married, had a child, but have yet to buy a house. Others have a house and a kid, but didn’t marry yet, or live in a house they own together without being married.


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