Some dirty jokes, but truths

Think about these Qs and As…

1. What’s the difference between cricketers and condoms?
Cricketers drop the catches and condoms catch the drops.

2. What’s the difference between riding a bicycle and riding a woman?
Riding a bicycle, you fix your arse and move your legs. Riding a woman, you fix your legs and move your arse.

3. What are three things common with the sun and woman’s underwear?
Both are hot, both look better while going down, and both disappear at night.

4. Why do men ask for a woman’s hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.

5. What’s common between men and video?
Both go backwards … forward … backwards … forward … backwards … forward … stop … and eject.

6. What’s the closest thing to a woman’s period?
Your salary. It comes once a month, lasts about 5 to 7 days, and if it doesn’t come, it means you’re in big trouble.

7. What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A teabag.

8. Seven qualities of a perfect wife:
Beautiful, Responsible, Energetic, Adorable, Sweet, Truthful and Self-organised.
In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T.S.

9. What’s a gynaecologist?
He’s the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place where most people find pleasure.

10. What’s similarity between men and rats?
Both keep looking for new HOLES.

11. Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath.
Tarzan removed his clothes, and all the animals laughed.
“Why are you laughing?” Tarzan asked.
The animals told him, “Your tail’s in the front.”

Last but not least…

12. The secret to a long life — two eggs in the morning, two pegs in the evening … and between two legs at night!

(from email, 22 March)

Image via Mahalo

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2011.