Roundup for Week 12

Tuesday 29 March 2011, 2.38am HKT


The world around us for the week of 21-27 March 2011.

—♦—

That Was The Week That Was

No sex please, we’re impotent

Spank Girls, 1903

Hong Kong’s first 3D porno flick, “3D Sex and Zen,” is all about abstinence. We have to put our trust in the critics’ word that it leaves viewers with a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Sounds like box-office cyanide.

The whole point of 3D + sex is to get a hot and hectic feeling inside-out and making an unholy mess.

Wow, 3D abstinence. So provocative, so sexually uninhibited, so exciting, so cummingly jizzable.

Oh, well, back to the violence then…

* * *

Facebook wipes accounts to create child-safe environment

What's next? Embryonic users?

Facebook ensures child-friendly environment for young users by deleting the accounts of underaged users at a rate of 20,000 accounts a day globally.

Rationale: young users might be able to gain access to adult materials through Facebook. All it does is drive those users to other social networking sites that don’t have the capability to control access to adult materials.

Ultimately, it’s useless worry. Young Facebook users are a bunch of conniving liars who put out dressed-up crap to boost their street cred, as one study found. If kids can lie online, accessing adult stuff is peanuts.

Real reason (according to The Naked Listener): older Facecrook users are jealous because only youngsters know where to get cool, free porn of the dark and depraved kind.

* * *

Elizabeth Taylor, 1932-2011, R.I.P.

Can’t resist one last bit of name-dropping: The Naked Listener’s family knew Liz T. and Charles Chaplin through an Iraqi Jewish friend of the family back in London. We lived only a few miles from Liz’s brother in Finchley in north London.

Recollection: Both Liz T. and Charles C. were as ordinary as anyone could possibly be when they didn’t have to do their ‘glamour’ bit as movie stars.

* * *

Ah-ptoo!

On World TB Day (24th March), experts warn about increase in drug-resistant tuberculosis in Australia.

Meanwhile in China, the WHO says there are probably 500 million people infected with TB but show no symptoms, all because of the habit of spitting all over the place.

Trust me, eat lots of salt and drink tincture of iodine — why waste money on cures when you could sterilise your spit instead and protect you from radiation, TB, unplanned pregnancies and secondhand smoke?

* * *

High-class lifestyles not welcomed

In China, the cities of Beijing and Chongqing (Chungking) are banning outdoor advertising that tends to promote high-end lifestyles. The authorities consider these ads may trigger ‘social unrest’ (euphemism for ‘class jealousies’?). Problem: who’s going to bring in the taxes for the government?

* * *

Do you take salt or iodine or contraceptive pills for this?

While the Japanese nuclear reactors continue to spew out radioactive crap, the Hong Kong Observatory (i.e. meteorological office) forecasts up to nine typhoons (hurricanes) in store for the city this year. Expect to see new reality show called The Great 3D Real-Estate Forex Manipulation Price Hike Radiation Rainstorm Abstinence Disaster of Hong Kong. You heard it here first. Tickets on sale now from The Naked Listener’s Weblog.

* * *

Your sex life doesn’t compute

Psycho researchers at Australia’s Deakin University found that ‘friends with benefits’ (casual sexual) relationships are more common than we think (at least in Oz) and Aussies are enjoying it (obviously).

Why s0 common Down Under? Just a guess. Another bunch of Australian researchers say salty diets are damaging Australian men’s sex lives. Just a guess.

The upshot then is this: eat more salt, damage your sex life, so you have to make up for the (ahem) slack with something, so you get a bit more of ‘it’ on the side. Makes perfect sense.

* * *

Where's your god now?

Quaking from another kind of fallout

Lack of Japanese tourists will batter tourist-dependent Hawaii as Japan continues to reel under the aftermath of the earthquake and the continuing nuclear reactor mess.

The real reason, of course, is Hawaii is now too tame for the average Japanese. Home turf now sports quake-mutilated sex dolls and radioactive tofu that glow in the dark. Hawaii’s only got sun, surf and bikinis. Doesn’t stand a chance.

* * *

Uranium spot prices rebounding

In keeping with the fine capitalist tradition of profiting from misery, uranium spot prices went up 13% on strong volumes last week. The uptrend was led by 21 transactions involving a total of 3.6 million pounds (1.63 million kilogrammes) of uranium. Where’s you god now, environmentalists?

—♦—

Only I Can See This

In China, one agency is trying to get people to quit smoking, while another tries to get them to smoke.

The highly noticeable Chinese penchant for interlocking dictionary definitions carries over in real life in China’s efforts to curb smoking. The health authority wants the government to be serious in carrying out anti-smoking measures. But the country’s state-run tobacco industry works inside the tobacco regulatory apparatus and provides serious tax dollars to the government as well as being a sizeable state employer.

More in this Naked Listener exclusive.

—♦—

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2011.

Images:

Young Facebook user via Sync-blog
Elizabeth Taylor via Daily Scene
Spank Girls 1903 via Wikimedia (URL lost)
Uranium pellet facts via Mr Krasilovsky

4 Responses to “Roundup for Week 12”

  1. I love your background image!

    Not totally related to what you mentioned about Facebook, but the picture you used I see ALL the time on FB. Women always post updates of their growing baby, and they all look the same. Some of them are just creepy.

    Like

  2. i don’t understand this 3d porn movie…. what constitutes a 3d porn? how porn is porn then?

    Like

Comments are closed.

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