Where to live when you retire

Sunday 5 June 2011, 5.18am HKT


SOMETIMES we’re brainlessly brainwashed and bought into the game of received wisdom (put out by those who may not always have our best interest at heart) that we miss our own best interests altogether.

Question:

Where to live when you retire?

Answer:

Description: cid:0E37B3C7F03947CA896B5FEE7B553F70@MarionNO NURSING HOME FOR ME!!!

No nursing home for us. We’ll be checking into a Holiday Inn!

With the average cost for a nursing home care running at US$188 per day, there IS a better way when we get old and too feeble.

I’ve already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.

For a combined long-term stay discount and senior discount, it’s US$59.23 per night, breakfast is included. Some have happy hours in the afternoon.

That leaves US$128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

Description: cid:7A98C0DE49B9471FAC37674A05B64456@MarionPlus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.

Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

For five dollars’ worth of tips a day, you’ll have the entire staff scrambling to help you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient.

Description: cid:D40E4B2ED6F24B0D9FBF0A0BDB8BA116@MarionThere’s a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

Description: cid:629D96D387944BDEB849B5A297665780@Marion

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.

While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.

And you’re not stuck in one place forever — you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see  Hawaii? They have Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing?  Need a mattress replaced?

No problem. They fix everything, and apologise for the inconvenience.

Description: cid:D617A1C661914A888B073D8CAF29D5C0@MarionThe Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are okay.

If not, they’ll call an ambulance … or the undertaker.

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Description: cid:2C1A5ABAB4A44C6B8E520D24B6F5BF91@MarionAnd no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days’ mini-vacation.

The grandkids can use the pool.

What more could I ask for?

Description: cid:5C1E42D4725749BA8485C0A4251D3436@Marion

So, when I reach that golden age, I’ll face it with a grin.

(email from Fred L., mailing list member, 04 June 2011)

Remark: Your mileage may vary where you are. But probably not.

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2011.

5 Responses to “Where to live when you retire”

  1. Guus said

    Love it. Can’t see any way to shoot a hole into this reasoning!

    Like

    • Being that US$188 works out to S$230 a day (or HK$1,462), you can see that hotels like the Holiday Inn in the USA (where Fred is) is a realistic alternative. Tomorrow, I’ll be ringing up two or three pensioners’ homes around my district to see how Fred’s calculations fare for Hong Kong. But I’m pretty sure US$188 is pretty competitive against Singapore nursing homes.

      Like

  2. The Naked Listener is on FIRE!!! What a kick-ass idea! I have cooked in old peoples homes and they are NOT the Holiday Inn. And the Holiday Inn people actually love old people- perfect! Two great posts today, the Naked Listener is truly wise!

    Like

  3. Apologies for the pictureless quality of the post – the links broke for no reason.

    Like

Comments are closed.

Diary of a Psychokiller

take a trip with me to the darkside

Lipsync Lawyer

Stop bitching and know your law differently

Daring Fireball

Hearing ordinary lives talk

Girl in Florence

A Tuscan Texan immersed in Florentine life: passionate about food & wine | random moments | and travel

One Drawing Daily

I've been drawing and painting and learning (almost) every day since the 9th September 2014

An English Man In SF

a diary of life as an immigrant

MB Forde

Ghosts, Legends, Folklore and Writing

Motorcycling in Hong Kong

On two wheels in Asia's World City

Tinkerbelle

Making her way back to Neverland one day at a time...

The Naked Listener's Weblog

Hearing ordinary lives talk

Basti in China

Random stuff from Hong Kong and China

Making Maps: DIY Cartography

Resources and Ideas for Making Maps

Pointless Diagrams

A new, meaningless diagram drawn daily, just 'cause.

This Blog Needs Words

The greatest WordPress.com site in all the land!

The London Column

Reports from the life of a city, from 1951 to now, compiled by David Secombe

Vintagerock's Weblog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

%d bloggers like this: