Red Bull F1 Dragon Run 2011

Sunday 19 June 2011, 5.22am HKT

AS A BIKER (of the motorcycle variety), I do my level best to turn up at racing gigs, such as the Red Bull F1 Dragon Run 2011 that took place yesterday (18th June) in Central district of Hong Kong.

Arrived early (of course) with assorted cattle friends but place was already chockablock.

I promise you, the pictures get better as you go down…

(Pics are safe for work — if not, you’re working for the wrong company)

(25 images in all: click image for larger version)

The boys in blue were out in force to handle crowd control. But seeing that practically every other person with a Chinese face also spoke perfect, unaccented English, the chaps from ‘The Best Police Force Money Can Buy’ (remember that one, anyone?) chose to ‘ask’ spectators to keep moving and not block the passageways. Priceless.

People were already there since morning!

Total chockablock along 600 metres of the thoroughfare.

Not to be outdone, the boys in blue bring out their cherished BMWs and mean sonofabitch Ray-Bans.

Headquarters of the bigwigs who sponsored the event.

They paid, so everyone else went for free. Tidy of them, that.

Wung! Wung! Wung! Fluorescent ears.

Bummer. Me and friends never got to see the racecars belting up and down Lung Wo Road — that’s the 600-metre (one-third of a mile) stretch of road between the International Financial Centre tower in Central and the HKCEC in Wanchai district). Oh wells.

Being a lecherous — ahem! — versatile sort of chap, I made do with the race queens (‘RQs’) there instead. Whay-hay-hay!

An RQ on holiday from Londontown. Highly talented. Highly…

Trust me, London Girl is truly smashing in person.

Local RQ girl having a nice chat with other local girls.

A real, live local girl and RQ with a local chappie.

Interestingly, this RQ is a true-blue local girl, but currently at uni in Canada. Even more interestingly, she pays the equivalent of only HK$20,000 (US$2,566 or £1,586) for an entire year’s tuition! This is why, she says, Americans are heading to Canada in droves for university education. Even though a local chick squeeze girl homegal herself, there’s no point staying in Hong Kong for uni, mainly because us locals are paying an outrageous HK$52,000 a year in tuition. You want a university education, of course, but not half a million dollars in debt after a four-year degree. Couldn’t agree more.

They’re locals, not expats, locals, locals, locals!

I’m crazy about the one in fuchsia (= magenta), i.e the one on the right).

Support your local talents!

Actually, I’m kinda crazy about all of them.

I approve their crowd control measures!

I honestly don’t know. Seems like I’m always the one to make that oh-so-important first move. Not until I fly into the RQs for a photo op, everyone’s too shy to even glance at them. Then suddenly EVERYONE was jostling and shoving one another for their 15-second moment of fame with the pretty ladies. The womenfolk were even more vicious than the menfolk for photo ops. Well I never!

Womenfolk even more vicious then menfolk for a shot.

“Why do they always have race queens at these shows?”

Answer: Crowd control. Not everyone can bulldoze their way to the front stands and catch a glimpse of the racecars. It’s just a fact of life with crowds. Some just don’t want to bulldoze (actually, quite a lot don’t).

Sure, there was police presence. But coppers are a menacing lot by nature anyway, so they’re apt to become a wee bit excitable with a crowd that’s milling and shuffling around. And when coppers carry sidearms as they do in Hong Kong, the excitement of seeing people enjoying a day out kind of gets on their nerves a bit. Especially on a hot and muggy day like this one, with spectators vying mostly in a futile effort for a spot for a wee look-see at the racecars. Policemen are trained not to understand the subtle art of crowd control. Oh wells.

But event organisers are. They long knew that race queens are an indispensable, effective and effectual means of crowd control. So are bike hunnies and carshow babes — but that’s another story! If you don’t get to see racecars, you get to see (and chat up) the race queens instead. Why waste time getting hot in the head when you can most agreeably get hot under the collar? Namsayin’?

“A couple of dozen of these [race queens] and we can all go home.” (Police constable with really nice Killer Loop shades)

Now you know.

Can’t see the racecars? Try race queens!

Tell me what crowd can’t be controlled (and ‘controlled’) by these fine, upstanding, talented ladies…

* * *

A friendly marketing idea for Apple to think about

You know what, Apple should think about this when they next market their iPads…

“Have all your expensive cameras and fantastic lenses,
but you’ll never get a shot edgewise.
The iPad.
See more.
And more to see.”

This guy had the greatest number of s-s-spec-ta-ta-ta-tors standing behind him. Best live broadcast evah.

Dear Mr Steve Jobs, the Naked Listener highly appreciates a small compensation for your use of this marketing idea. I look forward to receiving your cheque. Thank you.

* * *

On one of the backup racecars.

More race queens — the ‘local-local’ version…

Sounds of ZZ Top’s “Legs” in the background.

See? It’s the girls rather than the blokes who really want a shot at the race queens.

Who says I’m not fond of Chinese cuisine?

Is he a pro? What are you, blind?

When some guy pulls out his weapon an ƒ/0.5 lens like this one (allowing shots in near pitch black), you don’t have to wonder if he’s a real pro or not. Thirty thousand bucks, pal, with or without the gummy flipflops.

The main sponsor’s motorcar.

“Crikey! They’re handing these things out to everyone!”

No, they just look a bit risqué. They’re not condoms. But they really look like condoms, I tell you. They’re really nice Swiss-made sweets called Rio Mints that the race queens were handing out to everybody. Including women. Including kids. Shocked looks all round. Priceless.

“Imagine one of these things fell out on the MTR and everyone’s going UGHH! and giving you the stink eye. The look on their faces would be priceless!”

(That’s what I said to London Girl! Aye-yai-yai, her knowing look was also priceless. God bless these London girls, knows what I’ve got on me mind they do…)

And much fun was had by all that day.

Images and text © The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2011. All Rights reserved.

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