More grumps from New Zealanders

Saturday 30 July 2011, 12.00pm HKT

SEEMS LIKE New Zealanders in a grumpy mood can come up with some seriously workable solutions to problems.

* * *


Put pensioners in gaol (AmE: jail) and criminals in a nursing home.

Benefits to pensioners

This way, pensioners would have:

  • access to showers, hobbies and walks
  • unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheelchairs, etc
  • receive money instead of paying it out.
  • constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly if they fell or needed some other assistance
  • bedding washed twice a week and all clothing ironed and returned to them
  • a guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell room
  • family visits in a suite built for that purpose
  • access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education
  • simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJs and legal aid would be free on request
  • private, secure rooms for all, with an outdoor exercise yard, with gardens
  • a personal computer, a TV, radio for each pensioner and daily phone calls
  • a board of directors to hear complaints
  • a code of conduct for guards that would be strictly adhered to

Benefits to criminals

The criminals would get:

  • cold food
  • be left all alone and unsupervised
  • lights out at 8pm
  • showers once a week
  • live in a tiny room
  • pay NZ$800 (US$692) per week
  • no hope of ever getting out


Prison or nursing home? The world's most luxurious gaol: the Justice and Detention Centre in Leoben, Austria

This is not a nursing home: the Leoben gaol in Austria

(via Fred L.)

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2011. Images via here.

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