My Geek Code

Monday 2 January 2012, 12.01am HKT


THIS is my Geek Code block according to The Code of the Geeks v3.12:

GAT$ d++(-) s-:-(—:—) a14 c(+) U— P L E W++@ N+++(+) o K w+ O+ M(+) V+ PS+ PE Y+ PGP t+(-) 5+(5) X+ R* tv+ b+ DI++ D+(D) G e++ h* r+% y+++++**

Like all things geeky, you’re forced to decode manually there — a Nineties drag in this day and age. Srsly.

*

La veste moto blanche, taille 6 américaine

Fair warning: I’m no geek. The only geeks I like are those who are:

  • female
  • tattooed
  • able to fit into a USA Size 6 white leather biker jacket with flowing fringes
  • wear French or German eyeglasses
  • not averse to riding a motorbike at the back
  • … or in the front
  • not piss-proud about being young and nubile
  • … or self-conscious about being middle-aged
  • …. or self-deprecating about being old
  • not fussy about showing a bit of ‘skin’ (wrinkled or otherwise)
  • … or about me being fussy about my ‘chicks’
  • appreciative of my definition of ‘chicks’ cover all possible [adult] ages
LADY, ARE YOU A SIZE 6?

*

Timesaving decoder for you lazy dopes:

GAT$

Geek of All Trades who can do anything and everything. And, luckily, gets paid for it.

d++(-)

I tend to wear conservative dress such as a business suit (or, worse, a tie) but I’m mostly in jeans (though not T-shirt). In short, smart casual.

s-:-(—:—)

In physical appearance, I look up (physically) to most people, and everyone tells me to gain a few pounds. Sometimes I take a phone directory with me when I go out so I can see to eat dinner. My bones are poking through my skin.

a14

I am perennially 14 years old.

c+

Computers are fun and I enjoy using them. I play a mean game of DOOM! and can use a wordprocessor without resorting to the manual too often. I know that a 3½-inch diskette is not a hard drive. I also know that when it says “Press any key to continue,” I don’t have to look for a key labelled “ANY.”

U—

Unix geeks are actually nerds in disguise.

P

I know Perl exists, but that’s all.

L

I know what Linux is, but that’s about all.

E@

Yeah, I know what emacs is, but don’t use it as my regular editor.

W++

I have a homepage/website (this one!). I surf daily. But my homepage isn’t advertised in my .signature.

N+++(+)

I read so many newsgroups that the next batch of news comes in before I finish reading the last batch, and I have to read for about 2 hours straight before I’m caught up on the morning’s news. Then there’s the afternoon… Because of all that, I read news recreationally when I have some time to kill.

o

I’ve submitted a question to Usenet Oracle, but it has never been incarnated.

K

I know who Kibo is.

w+

For Micro$haft Windows, I have installed my own custom sounds, wallpaper and screensavers so my PC walks and talks like a fun house. Oh yeah, I have a hundred TrueType founts that I’ve installed but never used. I never lose Minesweeper and Solitaire.

O+

As to the OS/2 operating system, I keep a DOS partition on my hard drive “just in case.” I’m afraid to try HPFS.

M(+)

I use a Mac quite often. It has its uses, but I’m pretty indifferent about it.

V+

I tend to like VMS operating system from DEC better than Unix.

PS+

In politics and social issues, my whole concept of liberalism is that nobody has the right to tell anybody else what to do, on either side of the political fence. If you don’t like it, turn the bloody channel.

PE

In political and economic issues, distrust both government and business. Because I work with both on a daily basis.

Y+

As to cypherpunks, I have an interest and concern in privacy issues, but in reality I am not really all that active or vocal.

PGP

I’ve used PGP, but stopped long ago.

t+(-)

Star Trek: It’s a damn fine TV show and is one of the only things good on television anymore. Maybe it’s just me, but I have no idea what the big deal is with Star Trek. Perhaps I’m missing something.

5+(5)

Babylon 5 certainly presents a fresh perspective in the sci-fi universe. I watch it, but I’m pretty indifferent to it.

X+

The X-Files: I’ve converted my family and watch the show when I remember. It’s really kinda fun.

R*

Role-playing games: I thought life WAS role-playing…

tv+

I watch some TV every day.

b+

I enjoy reading, but don’t get the time very often.

DI++

I work with people who act a lot like Dilbert and his boss.

D+(D)

Doom: It’s a fun action game that’s a nice diversion on a lazy afternoon, but I’m pretty indifferent to it.

G

I know what the Geek Code is and even did up this code.

e++

Got a bachelor’s degree. Geeks are distinct from lower lifeforms known as nerds (or even ‘nolife’). They have things to do that are in the outside world.

h*

Housing: I’m not sure where I live anymore. The workplace seems like home to me.

r+%

date frequently, bouncing from one relationship to another. (I wish! Being bounced around is a more realistic description.)

y+++++**

Sex: I am Madonna, and I’ve been known to make perverts look like angels.

*

The Geek Code is copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996 by Robert A. Hayden.

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2012. Bracelet image via GadgetSin.

3 Responses to “My Geek Code”

  1. Ed Hurst said

    Okay, I bothered: GO d- s+:++ a++ C++ UL++++ P+ L++ E— W++ N+ !K w O M– V- !PS PE Y+ PGP !t 5 !X R- tv- b++ DI+ !D G e++ h– r+++ y+++

    Too many of the items don’t offer my choice, so there are lots of exclusion marks.

    Like

  2. Ed Hurst said

    Well, we should hardly be surprised the geek crowd isn’t much on religion or writers, so I’m left with the default “other”. I suppose Philosophy comes close, but that would be somewhat beside the point.

    Like

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