The Naked Listener’s Vademecum to Blogger Zodiac Traits (Part 2)

Saturday 19 January 2013, 12.01am HKT


FROM PART 1

IN THIS SECOND PART of the three-part series, we’ll look at highly dubious traits of bloggers born under the signs of Leo, Virgo, Libra and Scorpio.

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zodiac signs

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LEO the Lion

leo the lion thenakedlistener

Nickname: My Way, All The Way, Or No Way

Period is July 23 to August 22.
Greek name Leon.
Sanskrit name Simha.
Sumerian-Babylonian name Ur-Gu-La (‘The Lion’).
Element is Fire.
Ruling planet is the Sun.
Stone is peridot.
Zodiac colours are gold and orange.
Vibration is radiant energy.
Life pursuit is to lead the way.
Secret desire is to be a star.

Astrologers say:

Love triumphs over all. The heart rules. Born fortunate. Charismatic and positive-thinking. Attracts abundance of friends and opportunities. Style and good humour. Wise beyond their years and make great teachers. Egotistical but protective of those they love. Averse to new things. Devoted and faithful in romantic and family life. If trust is broken or dumped, hard to forget and forgive. Unsentimental and burn bridges completely in relationship breakdowns — once over, over for good.

The Naked Listener says:

This blog was born on WordPress on 19 Aug 2008, which makes it a Leo.

Leos can’t bear to be alone. Loneliness is a disaster for them because they tend to be frightened by anything new or strange. They have a great need to protect (whether wanted or not). Adventurers but not trendsetters. Their biggest weakness is their pride (or self-satisfaction, depending on how you see things). Flattery will get you everything with the Leo, which is also its undoing. The Leo is ‘up’ when up and down on low when ‘down.’ Leos are fierce criticisers, only to be outdone and stung by the Virgo, Capricorn and Aquarius.

As bloggers:

Generous and determined because they want to be leaders or ahead of the game. Because of their egoism and egotism, Leo bloggers want readers to be ‘all in’ or ‘all out’ with their ideas — exactly what gets them into mishaps.

Famous Leo bloggers:

Trivia:

No. 11 sign (7.1%) of the U.S. population in 2012. July is the No. 3 and August the No. 1 birth month in the USA from 1990 to 2006, according to statistics from the [U.S.] Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

The FBI has Leo the No. 10 sign for serial killers and criminals — usually very dangerous, mainly because they’re in it for the sole reason of getting recognition, which means they are not into petty crimes. Big of heart, big of jobs.

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VIRGO the Maiden

virgo the maiden thenakedlistener

Nickname: The Slut-Whore of Perfected Virtues

Period is August 23 to September 22.
Greek name Parthenos.
Sanskrit name Kanya.
Sumerian-Babylonian name Absin (‘The Furrow,’ the goddess Shala’s ear of corn).
Element is Earth.
Ruling planet is Mercury.
Stone is sapphire.
Zodiac colour is indigo or dark violet.
Vibration is compassionate and caring.
Life pursuit is to do the right thing.
Secret desire is to love and be loved.

Astrologers say:

Badly defamed by astrologers as being fussy and narrow-minded. Yet an in-tune Virgo is a treat to meet whose outer beacon matches the inner light. Confident with themselves and structured in creativity. Faith in others even in the face of disappointments and soured relationships. A refusal to become cynical. Kindness of heart that is sometimes exploited by others. Victims of power games. Delicate people who are shy and unbecoming.

The Naked Listener says:

But Virgos ARE fusspots — they all require individual and individualised treatment. They have this thing about perfectionism that they often lose sight of timeliness and practicality. All the Virgos I know (males and females alike) tend to forget that most people invest time and money on solutions, not ideas, visions or dreams. Where the astrologers get it super dead wrong is this: Virgos are extremely good in power games and have an uncanny knack of avoiding becoming victims — because they take all forms of ‘power’ as it comes. Virgos are very reflective of themselves, but analogously not a bit reflective about others — which is why they make fantastic careerists in teaching.

As bloggers:

Their perfectionistic streak makes them diligent and careful writers. With lesser Virgos, whatever diligence and care they put into their writing is offset by their habit of writing long paragraphs (over 300 words) with double character spaces between sentences — both practices that fly right in the face of non-academic writing conventions and good typography.

Famous Virgo bloggers:

Trivia:

September is the No. 1 birth month worldwide, and the No. 2 for the USA from 1990 to 2006, according to figures from the CDC. In other words, most people on the planet are evenly divided between Virgos and Libras. U.S. politicians are top-heavy with Geminis, Cancers, Libras and Virgos.

A Harvard study suggests 16 September (Virgo) is the commonest birthday in the USA, but Anybirthday.com suggests it’s 15 October (Libra) instead. This isn’t hard to understand — back-engineering would give us the conception dates to New Year’s Day and Valentine’s Day.

Virgo is the No. 2 sign (9.3%) of the U.S. population in 2012. The FBI has Virgo the No. 6 sign for serial killers and criminals — hackers and burglars, usually armed, and usually caught (like are Capricorn and Taurean criminals).

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LIBRA the Scales

libra the scales thenakedlistener

Nickname: Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, Balance Sheet Version

Period is September 23 to October 22.
Greek name Zugos.
Sanskrit name Tula.
Sumerian-Babylonian name Zib-Ba-An-Na (‘The Scales’).
Element is Air.
Ruling planet is Venus.
Stone is opal.
Zodiac colour is blue.
Vibration is unsteadiness.
Life pursuit is to be consistent.
Secret desire is to live an easy, uncomplicated life.

Astrologers say:

Fantasizes about finding the prince or princess of their dreams. This seeking of their personal holy grail often shapes their perspective in ordinary life in the most extraordinary manner. Love and love lost is a big deal for Libras, even if this is not apparent in their often happy-go-lucky appearance. They switch off from the world around them at regular intervals, even though much more occurs deep within them during these ‘outtage’ periods. Often keeps up a ‘front’ of an ideal childhood or lifestyle — an ability that makes Libras extremely successful actors and businesspeople. Very good at balancing acts between need to be self-creative, need to make money and making friends.

The Naked Listener says:

Utter rubbish. Most Libras are walking balance sheets. They weigh the pros and cons in everything — maybe the idea of The Balance is right after all. Trouble is, they often say yes when they should be saying no. Most Libras tend to work better on their own than in a group — these guys are not collaborators or cooperators. They have a very fertile imagination, yet the imagination operates on conventional symbols of success, romance, enjoyment or comfort. What most Libras I know don’t realise is they tend to hold out just a bit too long until their ‘dream’ or ‘vision’ come true.

As bloggers:

The fact that (high-end) Libras hold out on their dream or vision longer than most other signs helps them exude an air of diplomacy and calm in their writing. Lesser Librans don’t always realise how far they’re lagging behind by holding out.

Famous Libra bloggers:

  • Jason Kottke (pioneering blogger, with one of the longest continuously running blogs on the Web since March 1998)
  • Om Malik
  • Alan Colmes (‘The Alan Colmes Show’ on Fox News Radio)
  • Han Han 韩寒 (rally driver and China’s most popular blogger)

Trivia:

No. 5 sign (8.7%) of the U.S. population in 2012. September is the No. 2 birth month and October the No. 4 for the USA, according to CDC figures. (September is the No. 1 birth month worldwide.) The planet is evenly divided between Virgos and Libras.

Anybirthday.com suggests 5 October (Libra) is the commonest birthday in the USA, but a Harvard study suggests it’s 16 September (Virgo) instead. U.S. politicians are heavy with Geminis, Cancers, Libras and Virgos.

The FBI has Libra the No. 7 sign for serial killers and criminals — usually into corruption, usually armed and very dangerous.

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SCORPIO the Scorpion

scorpio the scorpion thenakedlistener

Nickname: The Secret Death Oven for Liars, Fussers and Faffers

Period is October 23 to November 21.
Greek name Skorpios.
Sanskrit name Vrscika.
Sumerian-Babylonian name Girtab (‘The Scorpion’).
Element is Water.
Ruling planet is Pluto.
Stone is topaz.
Zodiac colour is blood red or black.
Vibration is resilience.
Life pursuit is to survive against all odds.
Secret desire is to triumph.

Astrologers say:

Reputed to be the most ‘powerful’ sign of the zodiac. Intense, dramatic personal relationships. Old and wise beyond their years when as children. Know all the answers for others, except sometimes for their own happiness. Biggest challenge is choosing the power of Love vs. the love of Power. Not easy to know even after years of knowing or living with them. Secretive my nature, so they know when others are keeping secrets or lying. Too often they say no when they really mean yes.

The Naked Listener says:

All Scorpios I know have an uncanny ability to smell out liars, mainly because so many of them are so secretive (but not necessarily liars). They also have many ideas about themselves (and others). Because of that, they think they are more intense than other people — which isn’t necessarily true. I’ve often heard Scorpios being described as “sexually jealous” — whatever the hell that means.

The astrologers are wrong on one thing — Scorpios mean no when they say no. If a Scorpio trusts you, you’re fine. If not, you’ve had it with them, but you’ll never know — that should worry you no end. They never forgive or forget either.

By the way, don’t describe them as secretive, cagey or tight-lipped — try ‘enigmatic’ or ‘hypnotising’ instead.

The only thing you need to worry about Scorpios is their attitude — it’s either very negative or very positive. In that sense, the astrologers are right: they either abuse power completely, or they don’t. Interestingly, many notorious criminals are Scorpios.

As bloggers:

Intense and powerful with wise words even for the wise. But they so cagey they reveal so little about themselves and put just a little too much faith on letting their words shine through. An ‘About’ page would improve things with this lot.

Famous Scorpio bloggers:

Trivia:

The No. 1 sign (9.4%) of the U.S. population in 2012. The FBI puts Scorpio the No. 9 sign for serial killers and criminals — hot tempers, yet with the cool to be hired as contract killers.

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COMING UP TOMORROW

SAGITTARIUS, CAPRICORN, AQUARIUS, PISCES

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© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2013. (B13017)

Images: All images by the author, except Zodiac Signs screenshot via Universal Psychic Guild.

9 Responses to “The Naked Listener’s Vademecum to Blogger Zodiac Traits (Part 2)”

  1. Yaxue Cao said

    I am a scorpio. Whoops, not secretive enough!

    Like

  2. Ophelia said

    Scorpios are the best :) haaaa

    Like

  3. Ed Hurst said

    It’s not a particular point of pride, but I’m pretty sure it would take some imagination to think I fit the Virgo profile that well. While I do realize there are distinct affects to personality arising from what time of year they are born, I think Zodiac is mostly the tail wagging the dog, since geography and other environmental factors loom far larger on what shapes peoples’ character.

    Like

  4. I fall into the Leo category, as far as birth is concerned. It’s funny, because people who dig this kind of thing (I’m a bad pagan, as this stuff is so not my thing) always pick me out as a Leo. *Shrug* It’s fun and interesting. I like reading your take over the astrologers point of view. :)

    The bit about what the FBI thinks of various signs? Kind of funny, because the only crimes I’ve really thought about lately involved disappearances of well-known conservatives in the US… (Not really, but I’ve daydreamed just a bit.) =P

    Like

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