Codes, unfolded and demoulded

Wednesday 17 April 2013, 8.39am HKT


5.25am local time, 25°C (77°), muggy with rain patches

THEY SAW the codes. They’re curious. And they’re useless at decoding them. So they had to be spoonfed.

future matrix neo

Decode your own IQ first

YES, FOLKS, this is a story about a couple of people who emailed in asking what those funny codes on my About page actually mean.

Normally I wouldn’t bother to decode for anyone, but I *am* in a good mood because Pearl Jam Twenty (2011) is on telly right now.

~~~~~

My Blogger Code v2.0

Anyone who’s been blogging for any length of time ought to have this world-famous Blogger Code by Travis Kroh. It’s legacy stuff now — therefore quite valuable now — because it can’t be had not for love nor money.

B9 D+++ T- K+ S F I O++ X++ E+ L C Y1 R+ W- P+ M5 N H

Alternative version: B9 d- t- k+ s+ u– f i o++ x++ e l c-

UPSHOT: I can’t even decode this anymore because Blogger Code is no more.

~~~~~

My Geek Code v3.12

Geeks are distinct from nerds or nolife*. I’m none of them. Certainly not a “twitch.”

When you’re a blogger, however, it is morally unethical not to include Robert Hayden’s The Code of the Geeks (Version 3.12) regardless:—

GAT$ d++(-) s-:-(- – – : – – -) a14 C+ U- – – P L E@ W++@ N+++(+) o K w+ O+ M(+) V+ PS+ PE Y+ PGP t+(-) 5+(5) X+ R* tv+ b+ DI++ D+(D) G e++ h* r+% y+++++**

Eminently decoded [IN THIS POST].

Generate your own automatically: [Joe Reiss’ The Code of the Geeks v3.1 Generator].

French and English generator for v3.20 available [HERE].

Recommended decoders: [The Geek Code Decoder Page] and [Joe Reiss’ Geek Decoder].

* Believe it or not, French Wikipedia actually has an entry on nolife (in French). English translation is here.

~~~~~

My OmniCode!

patient doll gaumardGreg Webster’s OmniCode! v0.1.7 is a suggested (but overly complex) replacement for the Geek Code:—

sxy cm173 kg45 skf5deb3.wheat ha311c1d ey794448
^
esO&es# sp= Ag1999.variable an!=.giraffe hdd
^Lo22.25,114.1667 GM+8N ZoQ&Zoc Zo*.giraffe.gecko
^rlh&?.C.B.D.F.M.b

^LAEN.british&LAZH.cantonese&DE.FR.IT Cr?(6) Ed?(8)

^HbEngravings&Photography&Tormenting_my_peers
^ PlT.M

^MvW&MvD.Car.Jaguar_XJ6&M.Honda_Steed_450&B&H Rl+.?.$!
^Kd?.accidental PeO.hamster
MBINFJ.wtf FHg.2011
^BAS.{R}hand.surgery.&legs.accident.motorbike UF? IN12.cable
^Ad+.legal Pr!

See what I mean?

Decoded, it reads:—

sxy

Male. (You didn’t know already?)

cm173

Height 173 cm (5 foot 8½).

kg45

Weight 45 kg (125 pounds).

skf4deb3

Skin colour is ▇▇▇▇▇ wheat (hex #f5deb3).

ha311c1d

Hair colour is ▇▇▇▇▇ deep brown (hex #311c1d).

ey794448

Eye colour is ▇▇▇▇▇ dark brown (hex #794448).

esO&es#

Nearsighted and astigmatic. @_@

sp=

Sexual preference is heterosexual.

Ag1999.variable

Age is 14 years old, based on variable year of birth 1999 (will be 2000 next year).

shark geckoan!=.giraffe.gecko

Ancestry is averagely non-human because my ancestors were either giraffes or geckos.

hdd

Right-handed.

Lo22.25,114.1667

Location is Hong Kong (latitude 22.25 N, longitude 114.1667 E).

GM+8N

Timezone is GMT+8 hours — no daylight saving time in a Northern Hemisphere winter.

ZoQ&Zoc

Astrological signs are Aquarius and Capricorn (yes, I was born on a cusp).

Zo*.giraffe!

All possible Chinese astrological animal signs apply to me because I was born in the year of the GIRAFFE.

rlh&?.C.B.D.F.M.b

Religion is humanist and perhaps Christian, Buddhist, Discordian, Jedi, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and Church of the SubGenius.

LAEN.british&LAZH.cantonese&DE.FR.IT

Principal languages are English (British) and Chinese (Cantonese dialect), plus some German, French and Italian.

istockphoto_10556767-british-pound-money-treeCr?(6)

Career? Money arrives from somewhere … better than average accomplishment on this score.

Ed?(8)

Education? I think I know something, but I don’t know what. Srsly accomplished in this.

HbEngravings&Photography&Tormenting_my_peers

Hobbies are engravings, photography, and tormenting my peers.

PlT.M

Political leanings are moderate/centrist Tory (i.e. centre-right conservative).

(You’d just wouldn’t think so looking at my long hair, cowboy boys and garb.)

MvD.Car.Jaguar_XJ6&M.Honda_Steed_450&B&H

Transport(ation) modes are walking and driving a car (Jaguar XJ6) and a motorcycle (Honda Steed 450), including public transit and hired transport (taxi, limo).

Rl+.?.$!

Relationship status is ‘seeking’ — exactly what I’m not sure, but it better be moneyed.

Kd?.accident

It’s possible that I have kids. If they exist, they unknown to me but they’re all probably accidental.

animal computer hamster 071PeO.hamster

My pet was a hamster.

MBINFJ.wtf

My Myers-Brigg Personality Type is INFJ, whatever the hell that means.

FHg.2011

My facial hair is a goatee, since 2011.

BAS.{R}hand.surgery.&legs.accident.motorbike

My body adornment is plastic surgery scarring on the right hand and legs, both from motorbike accidents.

UF?

User-friendly character? UF? What’s that?

IN12.cable

I spend 12 hours each day on the Internet using cable (srsly exaggerating here).

Ad+.legal

My addictions are more than I can fit here, but all are legal.

Pr!

I don’t do programming!

~~~~~

My Hacker Key

delete end keysI’m not a hacker, but my Hacker Key (v5) is:—

v5sw3hw1pr1ck1edu1Aln1ma2os2+6WMOedDM cr2tvbo5ga2BXa14geFs8+7Sp/4+/4h5et6+5

Decoded, it reads:—

v5

Version 5 of The Hacker Key.

sw3

I don’t hack software. Hacking implies tinkering, and I work structured!

hw1

I don’t do hardware hacking. I wouldn’t want to void my warranties.

pr1

Programming? I’ve got a DVD, not a VCR!

ck1

Cracking? I barely know how to crack an egg!

edu1A

I am uneducated. It’s a coincidence that I found my way here!

In learning, I’m an auto-didact.

(‘Auto-didact’ could mean a number of ambiguous things, by the way.)

illiterateln1

I’m illiterate. Alternatively, I’m a Slashdot editor!

ma2

Elementary arithmetic. Anything beyond a simple calculator baffles me.

os2+6WMO

I’m quite happy with the computer operating system that I’ve always used. I’ve manually configured large parts of my own system (on my own too!).

Windows (XP, Vista, 7, etc), Mac OS (X, or earlier) and old/other (OS/2, Plan 9, or other).

edDM

I use the default text editor/IDE. You mean there are different editors? Minimalist text editor; my editor can load files, save files and edit files. Tada!

cr2

I endorse the idea of cryptography (perfect privacy, or effective data mangling), but find it too difficult to use in practice.

tv fishtanktv

I watch TV.

(The Hacker Key as of version 5 doesn’t support information about TV habits.)

bo5

I enjoy reading, but I don’t make the time very often.

ga2BX

I play games during social events. Boardgames.

Game of Life is a game, right? Well, I’m a cellular automaton!

a14

My current age is 14. (And always will be.)

geF

My gender is feminine. My sex, however, is male.

(Learn the difference between ‘gender’ and ‘sex,’ please.)

s8+7S

I’ve had real, live sex with more than one person.

Not only have I had sex, I have noisy proof of my fertility!

Heterosexual.

Apallonia Stars in 'Tricks of the Trade'

p/4+/4

The Political Compass (www.politicalcompass.org) scores me:

  • economic left/right +4.0 (economic right)
  • libertarian/authoritarian +4.0 (political authoritarian)

making me out more like Maggie Thatcher in economic and political orientation.

(Maybe, but only if Milton Friedman’s crap is removed. Fact is, I’m more like Gandhi and J.K. Galbraith in economics and Willy Brandt in politics.)

h5

Living quarters? I live in my own place.

et6+5

Etiquette? I know my way around cutlery. I introduce myself and others at appropriate times.

_____

OH, YES, BY THE WAY…

THEY’RE NOT MEANT TO BE SERIOUS

digital glitch

Decoding done, or done decoding?
You too could be one of the decoding glitches

_____

ABOUT | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | SISTER BLOG | FAQs | LEGAL | CONTACT

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2013. (B13121).

Images: Neo of Matrix via 420chan.org | Blogger Code 2.0 logo via travis.kroh.net | Binary code bracelet via GadgetSin | Patient simulator via Gaumard | Gecko in shark suit via Crack Funny | Money on tree via iStockphoto | Hamster sleeping via c4c | Illiterate via c4c | Cat and TV via Lolyland | Apallonia Star via Thom Keith | Digital glitch lifebuoy via Filter Forge.

2 Responses to “Codes, unfolded and demoulded”

  1. Ed Hurst said

    My code is: get to know me. Or don’t. ;-)

    Like

Comments are closed.

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