Better a tourist than a disgrace like you

Monday 30 December 2013, 5.32am HKT


Hong Kong, 4.16am local time, 12°C (53°C)

I received the following email only minutes ago from a visitor to this blog, and I’m floored.

butthole surfer“I find your posts uneducated. You have a poor attitude to life. You are a bad example of the further destruction of our great Hong Kong culture and identity.

“You are just another tourist who came to live here but choose to take the side of equally pathetic foreigners.

“You do not write about the many good things of Hong Kong, which is one of the best cities in the world. You will not even write in your own mother language Chinese because you have not learned self-respect.

“You refer to yourself in some of your posts as a ‘Chinaman,’ which I need to remind you is a term of discrimination against the Chinese people used by foreigners who you love so much.”

‘Butthole Surfer’ (email, received 30 Dec 2013 at 04.10 hours HKT)

My reply:—

tnl my left ear“Dear Butthole Surfer,

YOU’RE AN IDIOT.

“Well, that’s just your opinion, man.

“As a true-blue Chinaman myself, you need to go to hell and don’t come back.

“You’re a disgrace.

Do you know what a f*ckface looks like? Get a mirror.

“在未來,請使用中文來寫 (‘In future, please write in Chinese’)

“Now pull up your knickers and go play with the wall socket.

“Merry Crisis and a Happy New Fear to you, c*nt.”

(Email sent 30 Dec 2013 at 04.11 hours HKT)

What a Billy-no-mates twat…

An ignoramus is what you get when you cross a dumbshit with an asshole.

My imaginary friend thinks Butthole Surfer has serious mental issues.

But according to my meds, that individual is simply a side effect.

I don’t insult people … I just describe them.

Some people are as useless as tits on a nun…

And if I get a response from this individual (and, trust me, the chances are actually quite high), tell me what I should say.

excuses for doing dumb shit via someecards

(Images via The Rumpus and someecards)

_____

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© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2013. (B13444)

Xmas Dalek-orate

Monday 23 December 2013, 12.01am HKT


It’s 23rd December, folks, which means today is properly when Christmas decorations are traditionally put up (or put up with).

xmas dalek de-cor-ate

DE-COR-ATE OR EXTERMINATE!
EXTERMIN-COR-RATE!
DE-COR-MINATE!
MASTUR-DECOR-TERMIN-BATE!

Would you like a cup of tea instead?

xmas finger twins 2124847369_n

EFFIN’ LAG YOU ARE, MATE!
We’d started and done it WEEKS ago!

Now pull up your panties and go play with the power socket.

Images via Imgur (top) and c4c (bottom).

_____

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© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2013. (B13412)

Running slow and waiting for a drink

Saturday 21 December 2013, 1.21pm HKT


12.49pm local time, 15°C (59°F), cool and warming up

MY spherical objects residing in my trunks have just finished thawing from the cold of the last two or three days. This ex-British/now-Chinese colony of Hong Kong had just warmed 5 degrees this morning.

xmas twerking

My left-side auxiliary spherical object down in my trunks

Nothing new happening with me right now. I’m just tired and fagged out. Only thing worth mentioning was this conversation from this morning:—

“What’s your wish for Christmas?”
“I wish that others stop asking me what I’m wishing for.”

Other than that, this is how I feel…

cat wagging tail

Got better balls than I have right now…

Until I finish writing up that stupid year-end review of mine that probably nobody wants to read because it’s a tl;dr kind of deal, I’m back on the bottle…

whisky pouring

Wished my bottle would pour this unendingly…

By the way, it’s Winter Solstice on Saturday, 21 December 2013 at 5.11pm UTC/GMT — or Sunday the 22nd at 1.11am Hong Kong time. It’s an almighty family reunion time for the Chinese — another excuse for a booze-up!

(Images via Imgur)

_____

ABOUT | CONTACT | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | SISTER BLOG | POLICYLEGAL

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2013. (B13434)

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