Bore of the Day: Mediterranean Drowning Games
Friday 15 May 2015, 12.34pm HKT
M E D I T E R R A N E A N D R O W N I N G G A M E S
The Rt. Hon. Lord Bowlerhat, Earl of Flogthepeasants, says:—
“D’YOU honestly think I’m going to listen to this claptrap of yours because it’s not a migration problem because they’re not migrants you bloody idiot because we can have different opinions and vigorous debate but not allowed to change the frame of reference because they’re refugees and it’s a reffewbloodygee problem and they’re not ‘human smugglers’ but ‘snakeheads’ and ‘boat people’ since the Sixties and Seventies after that American cockup in Saigon thankyouverymuch because ‘migrants’ makes them sound like a bunch of lazy jobless benefit-gouging immigrants so you journos are talking shit because they’re running for their lives escaping war and put their lives in the hands of some shifty-eyed snakehead on a slow boat to nowhere because they left their homes and travel secretly a quarter hemisphere’s distance across smelly foreign warzones to arrive at another smelly warzone just to get on a leaky bathtub and paddle for somewhere PEACEFUL that isn’t also fighting a flipping war so stop calling it a migration-this-or-that as if economics was the only thing that mattered because these government chappies are off their bloody rockers to suggest setting up passport counters in those warzones for an orderly exodus because you lot clearly didn’t remember Biafra and Angola because you solve this crap at the source which is to stop the bloody fighting because everyone’s paddling to Italy not for tiramisu but to escape the fighting and killing so WTF is wrong with you all and you know Maggie Thatcher was right that everyone’s a ‘wet’ because the governments are also escaping from something which is The Truth because the truth means responsibility and everyone dreads it so they sanitise the words and you ignorant news people should shut up and keep talking but anyhow I’m off to the south of France for the Cannes Film Festival and watch movies about the horrors of war and forget about the Mediterranean Drowning Games happening a few miles south of Cannes, you peasants…”
Image adapted from an original via 4chan (for it was that).