Destinations for your midlife meltdown(s)

Tuesday 21 July 2015, 2.00am HKT


bias world map

IS London a good place to have a midlife crisis?

Don’t see why not. It’s your crisis so it’s none of my business.

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EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE

Probably not, actually. Londoners are not famous for having midlife crises, though clearly some there go through that.

platforms 1970s

Platforms in New York City

Go for:— THE BIG APPLE

In my opinion, New York City is a much better option since midlife existential crises are better understood and appreciated there, and there are enough psychologists and therapists there to help.

european union map

Go for:— SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE

Other than that, if money is no object, it’s a nicer form of misery if you relocate to Paris, Grenoble, Milan, Lisbon, Madrid and Barcelona.

Vienna is good, if you can tolerate the additional pain of high prices. Innsbruck is even nicer and might cure your midlife crisis.

Greece right now is a wonderful place. The Greeks will definitely empathise and sympathise with whatever is roiling you inside out. If you can’t blow your fuse there, then blow … well, whatever you have. Bring cash, no plastic.

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DON’T STAND SO CLOSE TO ME

rome police

Avoid:— ROME and VENICE

Romans and Venetians don’t really ‘understand’ the concept of midlife crisis, and many there pretend to have one because it’s considered upper class to have one (don’t ask why).

Mar 2014

1,000 ice sculptures left to melt in a Berlin square

Avoid:— BERLIN

Berliners can be rather harsh for those suffering from anything. They’ll leave you on your own to your meltdown, like those sculptures above.

Judging from that little Greek tragic comedy recently, we have to assume Germans are not very sympathetic to any kind of midlife crises, nationally or individually.

That being the case with Germans, you’ll need the 10 words to know before partying in Germany (via who else but Deutsche-Welle).

map south east asia political

Avoid:— THE FAR EAST

Stay the hell away all the way from Asia!

Hong Kong and Tokyo are too claustrophobic already. Singapore is too ‘controlling’ and regimented to have any kind of mental crisis.

If you’re a foreigner, China will provide lifelong crisis if you really want to push the envelope on your midlife crisis for bragging rights.

surreal pistol

I understand from friends that Stockholm will just cause you to implement midlife termination if you’re in some kind of crisis.

gif bradley cooper wtf mono

Feeling any better now?

signature tnl transparent

Originally written at 5.22am on 31 May 2015

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Images: Biased world map via Beirut Night Life | Platforms in New York City via vanishingnewyork | Europe map via Wikipedia | Italian carabinieri via The Fedora Lounge | 1,000 ice sculptures via h3atstroke | Asia map via via mabryonline | Surreal gun via c4c | Cooper Bradley gif created by author. Author.

Shortlink: http://wp.me/pj5CA-5K7

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