Things I learnt on hitting 30

NOTHING starts a conversation more than about ageing.

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(via lmaobruh)

No, not me. I’m considerably and irretrievably more than 30 down the road to hell and high water with piranhas and electric jellyfish swimming up my pantaloons.

Here’s what a friend of mine says through my social feed:—

Some things I’ve learnt since being 30…

(via inaquarius.ro)

1. Breakfast doesn’t make you fat, DINNER does.

2. Family does come first.

3. The weekend are made for rest … and series.

4. Going out late means you’ll be home by 12am (ok … latest 1am).

5. Phones are for apps and games, but rarely used for actual calling.

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(via c4c)

6. The weather is NEVER nice to you … (too hot, too cold, too humid, too dry…)

7. You used to think when you wake up, that belly would disappear… but now it doesn’t.

8. Metabolism is no longer an internal function, you have to work for it.

9. My FB friends are all either, married, getting married, pregnant, had babies
or the ones that are “forever single.”

10. You can live without a phone, but you can’t live without WhatsApp.

(via Zazzle)

11. A good night out is when you go home by 11pm, shower and in your bed by 12am.

12. Flats are your new best friends.

13. Makeup is not compulsory, skin care is.

14. Massages are a necessary part of a weekly routine.

15. PMS stands for pre- and post-menstrual … which means the entire month…

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Compatriots speaketh

“Welcome to this age tickbox, though I already forgot
what I observed when I was 30 because it’s bloody long time ago!”

“… I totally relate to this list…”

“LOL. And … life starts at 30.”

“Makes perfect sense at 30. Like #11.”

“At least 7–8 items describe me!!!”

“But didn’t you turn 30 like a few years ago?”

“Oh … and should add two more things…

16. Lazy to walk and prefer to take transport instead, even if a short distance.

17. Less eager (or dare not go on rides)…

“Been there, done that…”

“What about ‘Yeah, I am going to a party this weekend!’
actually means a baby’s 100th-day or birthday party
rather than an all-you-can-drink/dance/club party!”

“Forever single indeed!!!!!”

Stark naked reality checklist there. (Yours truly)

(hat tip to Clara for the feed)

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The Naked Listener’s Corollary

Your ability to pull chicks or studs (or both!) is now superseded by
your ability to pull the nearest waiter to get your food ordered.

*Groan*

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Could suck more, given half the chance

TO anyone out there who’s just turned 30 or in imminent danger of it, the ‘Dirty Thirties’ aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

Then again, things could suck big time, thanks but no thanks to your forebears…

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This is Zara Hartshorn of the UK in 2010

She’s not a middle-aged woman.

(via Jalwah)

Zara with her mum in 2010

She was just 13 years old then, looking like this.

She has lipodystrophy, a genetic disease that makes her look far older.

She’s got good-looking arms though. Look!

(via Jalwah)

Zara’s sweet sixteen now.

Imagine no more about her possible cleavage.

I COULD just picture the horrific excitement of you lot of perverts out there about
MILFs and grannies with teen staying power.

Tsk, tsk, you dirty sods…

(via the Mirror of the UK)

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Draw your own fountain of youth, sooth or vermouth

Just so you newly reached (or even born-again) “Dirty Hairy” folks understand:–

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(via keepcalm-o-matic)

Or it could mean this—

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(via quickmeme)

Your mileage may vary, and account for variable change.

Draw your own conclusions — or from your own fountain of youth, whichever is easier.

Or just settle on the vermouth and the thirtysometing teen porn, I guess.

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© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2013. (B13246)

Did you realise Mick Jagger’s 69 already?

HOW TIME FLIES.

Sir Michael Philip “Mick’ Jagger celebrated his 69th birthday on 26th July.

Does he look 69 to you?
He was already 60 when this picture was taken (2003 in Italy)

Did you realise:—

• this English dude is actually a wartime baby (born 1943)?
• he has been making music hit after hit for 50 straight years?
• he’s 11 years older than our Chief Executive (governor) of Hong Kong (the 58-year-old C.Y. Leung)?
• but he’s a year younger than our head of state (President Hu Jintao) and head of government (Premier Wen Jiabao)?
• he’s 19 years older than President Obama (born 1961)???
• and he still older than U.S. presidential hopeful Mitt Romney (born 1947)???
• and British PM David Cameron (born 1966) is like a kid in comparison?

Cor blimey! Imagine that.

Mick Jagger was born at the height of the Second World War, and spent his entire formative years in the 1950s.

He was 13 when the 1956 Suez Crisis happened, and five days shy of his 26th birthday when Neil Armstrong set foot on the Moon in 1969.

Imagine what he knows and have seen.

And this is a guy who’s still ahead of most of us.

Imagine that.

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© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2012. Image via Wikipedia. (B12236)

How old are you young now?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMURRIKA! You’re one year older!

(It’s still the Fourth of July in the USA, by the way.)

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‘Lived’

YOU’VE HEARD  the words that our time on Earth is finite, haven’t you? That our allotted time in the here and now is not a long one — even short, nasty and brutish for some — right?

Most people don’t live more than 4,000 weeks.

Four thousand weeks is 76 years. Five thousand is already 95.

Four thousand weeks is only 28,000 days.

This is pretty galling to come to realise.

How many weeks have you lived — and ‘lived’ — already?

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Digested the indigestible

A LOT OF US get taught in childhood that there are 10,000 things to learn — simple stuff such as a word a day, that sort of thing.

Ten thousand days is 27 years, 4 months and 25 days.

Twenty thousand days is 41 years — 25,000 is 68 years and 30,000 is 82.

So we’re supposed to learn 10,000 words, one a day, for basically the next 27½ years. (Or 1,428½ weeks, if you like.)

Now if most of us are going to alive for only 4,000 weeks, then we’re talking about spending one-third of our lives just learning The Basics.

That’s never going to work out in practical life for any of us.

We’ve been fed something indigestible — and have digested it.

Some other way is needed, obviously.

We’ve been fed this kind of food when we’re young

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It’s time to run out of time

I GOT THINKING about this time duration thing because of a couple of people I know. Some time ago, they said they wanted to continue studying until they’re around 40.

And they really meant ‘studying’ in the sense of studying a course at a college or university — not ‘learning’ like the rest of us would (hopefully) mean like ‘learning from life.’

I find their idea of wanting to study right into middle age rather disturbing.

It’s even more disturbing to me to hear it from 20-somethings, and to see them actually make plans to carry out that idea.

Sure, life experience still comes on top of the studying. Yet the whole idea of someone still in their early 20s wanting to study like that really floors me.

Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying people shouldn’t want to study. But the idea that to WANT to study and map the whole thing out into middle age just seems like we’re setting ourselves up to restrict the fidelity of our life experiences yet to come.

Indeed, one of my friends went so far to say that getting married and having kids won’t be in the works for them because marriage and children would interfere with their studying.

I’m speechless, honestly.

I … just … don’t think that … studying has that high a value in life — not like learning in life: something I do happen to see as having a higher, more worthwhile value.

Am I the only one hit in the face like this with this thing?

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2012.

Images: Things I Want To Do via c4c | WTF Meat via c4c | 40 Years of Childhood via apina.

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