Amended to fit in with the blog’s style and requirements (hah!):

Answer by The Naked Listener:

This question keeps showing up on my feed and it’s getting on my nerves (no offence to the asker, who is blameless for this), so I might as well answer it.

we will wok you

Read the rest of this entry »

The Year of the Horse isn’t a euphemism

Wednesday 12 February 2014, 3.40am HKT

The horse-head proposes

9pm local time, 8°C (45°F), overcast and chilly

THIS is my long-promised but SRSLY delayed Chinese New Fear Year post for the Year of the Woodchip Particleboard Horse.

The Chinese Year of the Wood Horse (Whores?) began a whole week ago last Friday (31 Jan) at 23h00 Hong Kong time (Thursday, 30 Jan, 16h00 UTC).

With that kind of delay, anybody could reasonable hit back that I might as well put out a 2014 Christmas post instead. Point taken.

Interestingly, the original ‘lede’ was to have been “Torommow will be…”

Yes, folks, ‘torommow’ is the latest Hong Kong spelling of ‘tomorrow.’ So now my readers are hip, flip and no blip in the hip-speak scene.

Like all Horse years, this year will be a year of horsetrading.


(Some words and pictures offensive to prudes, or exciting to w@nkers)

Read the rest of this entry »

Better a tourist than a disgrace like you

Monday 30 December 2013, 5.32am HKT

Hong Kong, 4.16am local time, 12°C (53°C)

I received the following email only minutes ago from a visitor to this blog, and I’m floored.

butthole surfer“I find your posts uneducated. You have a poor attitude to life. You are a bad example of the further destruction of our great Hong Kong culture and identity.

“You are just another tourist who came to live here but choose to take the side of equally pathetic foreigners.

“You do not write about the many good things of Hong Kong, which is one of the best cities in the world. You will not even write in your own mother language Chinese because you have not learned self-respect.

“You refer to yourself in some of your posts as a ‘Chinaman,’ which I need to remind you is a term of discrimination against the Chinese people used by foreigners who you love so much.”

‘Butthole Surfer’ (email, received 30 Dec 2013 at 04.10 hours HKT)

My reply:—

tnl my left ear“Dear Butthole Surfer,


“Well, that’s just your opinion, man.

“As a true-blue Chinaman myself, you need to go to hell and don’t come back.

“You’re a disgrace.

Do you know what a f*ckface looks like? Get a mirror.

“在未來,請使用中文來寫 (‘In future, please write in Chinese’)

“Now pull up your knickers and go play with the wall socket.

“Merry Crisis and a Happy New Fear to you, c*nt.”

(Email sent 30 Dec 2013 at 04.11 hours HKT)

What a Billy-no-mates twat…

An ignoramus is what you get when you cross a dumbshit with an asshole.

My imaginary friend thinks Butthole Surfer has serious mental issues.

But according to my meds, that individual is simply a side effect.

I don’t insult people … I just describe them.

Some people are as useless as tits on a nun…

And if I get a response from this individual (and, trust me, the chances are actually quite high), tell me what I should say.

excuses for doing dumb shit via someecards

(Images via The Rumpus and someecards)



© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2013. (B13444)

English Legal History

Making English Legal History easy and enjoyable to digest.

Diary of a Psychokiller

take a trip with me to the darkside

Lipsync Lawyer

Stop bitching and know your law differently

Daring Fireball

Hearing ordinary lives talk

An English Man In SF

a diary of life as an immigrant

MB Forde

Ghosts, Legends, Folklore and Writing

Motorcycling in Hong Kong

On two wheels in Asia's World City


Making her way back to Neverland one day at a time...

The Naked Listener's Weblog

Hearing ordinary lives talk

Basti in China


Making Maps: DIY Cartography

Resources and Ideas for Making Maps

Pointless Diagrams

A new, meaningless diagram drawn daily, just 'cause.

The London Column

Reports from the life of a city, from 1951 to now, compiled by David Secombe

Vintagerock's Weblog.

Just another weblog

Shirley Chuk

Chuk Yin-yuk 祝燕玉 of Hong Kong

%d bloggers like this: