Ratta’s reading glasses

5.50am local time, 26°C (79°F), rain

RATTA has a rather old-fashioned but terribly hip gift from her employer.

Ratta’s quizzer in blue mother-of-pearl resin

Foldable quizzer-style reading glasses with beaded neckcord, said to priced HK$180 (US$23 or £13.65).

It’s the female version of the more masculine pince-nez (pans-ney, IPA /ˈpænsˌneɪ/, literally ‘pinch-nose’).

Rimless, hard-bridge pince-nez, a.k.a. hoopspring spectacles

Actually, the hard-bridge types don’t work on most Chinese people — or most Asians for that matter — mainly because Asians don’t have high nose ridges like Europeans have.

Or try the oh-so-terribly-upper-class-and-pimped-up monocle.

Gold plated monocle with gallery and cord, English, ca. 1890

Believe it or not, I used to own a monocle back in the 1980s. It was for laboratory work but a lot of people thought it was for pretence. Cost £25 then (inclusive of lens) from Scrivens Opticians, Regent Street, London W1, which no longer has a branch there.

Anton Chekhov with a pince-nez
From a portrait by Osip Braz, 1898

Chekhov might have respawned himself as Robert Downey Jr without telling us.

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Images: Rimless pince-nez via Spectacles Blog ♦ Monocle via aoa.org ♦ Anton Chekhov via A Word A Day

© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2014 | About.me | FB | Twitter | Policy & Legal

DocID: B14180

Blind sonofabitch (r)unt driver

3.33pm local time, 33°C (91°F), very hot and sunny

IT was yesterday (3 June):—

Be me,
Pushing a trolley,
Two heavy CD shelves,
MFW nearly got FQQN run over by idiot driver,
oi-watch-where-ya-goin-mate.mp3
Yells back at me,
U wot?! U got 120 horsepower and I got 1 manpower,
Want your face rearranged?

Ratta was with me and helping out at the time. Blind sonofabitch driver in all-black SUV nearly ran HER over too. SUV not exactly a smart choice for this city, so not exactly a sign of general intelligence to start with. Ergo—

I know, I shouldn’t quote myself. Quoted from my post “Do this if you should get fired: A lifehack exclusive (3/3).”

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© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2014 | Site | About.me | FB | Twitter | Policy & Legal

DocID: B14171

Happy Credit Card Season’s Greetings

4.30am local time, 18°C (82°F), coolish

FESTIVE greetings to all and sundry, and for those who dig Christmas, here’s my greetings to those who ‘understand’ the whole meaning behind the festivity.

(via Imgur)

I’ve gathered up a bunch of crappy but related pictures (some of which I actually took myself). I’ll make a supreme effort to booze post them every day so that by the time Christmas Day comes, you’ll be so sick of them (just like the Christmas carols assaulting your ears everywhere you go now) that you’d want to beat the crap out of me.

Can’t accuse me of not giving you all all of you a choice.

Recently…

Doing things last week

For you nosey parkers out there, I’ve been burning the candle at both ends last week to set up a website for someone and also ‘administrate’ it on a temporary basis. Other than that, I can’t give out the website URL because I don’t have permission to do that (yet).

Pretending to be arty-farty

I’d also made two bloody brilliant portraits of the website owner specially for the launch of it. The portraits were half ‘actual’ artwork and half cop-out. The oil portrait was initially done digitally and then painted over in oils. The watercolour portrait was even more of a cop-out — watercolour sponged over photocopy paper with abject brushwork. I’m no artist, never been trained in that stuff, so workarounds and cheatsheets are my default faggotry.

Shame I can’t show those portraits yet. A substitute portrait (also by me) to keep you happy for the time being…

Sidewalk poles in traditional knitwear
… even the poles here have no constitution

For crying out loud, it’s not even ‘cool’ yet

The weather here in Hong Kong has turned a little bit cooler (basically from the mid-20s Celsius to mid-10s) over the weekend. Other than that, practically everybody has put on clothes that are probably more suited to the Antarctic. People have absolutely no constitution here.

Brothel creeper crazed crazers

Ever since I posted that story about brothel creepers about six weeks ago, a lot of people have started coming out of the woodwork with those shoes on. The shops have started selling them too since a week ago. Even conservative Ratta has bought herself a pair. Other than that, either I’m bloody brilliant about fashion trends or I’m bloody lucky talking about it.

I give you two of the creepiest brothel creeper persons I’ve spotted…

This androgynous lady (above) just stood there absoeffinglutely motionless. (Shot taken on Wednesday, 27 Nov 2013.)

This one (of indeterminate sex) is just too creepy for words. (Shot taken on Sunday, 01 Dec 2013.)

Ratta’s first-ever and only pair of Japanese brothel creeper shoes. (The feet are hers.) Creeper purists consider leopard print to be OTT (‘over the top’). She looks completely stupid and funny in them — two essential qualities when teaching very young children. Very suave-looking.

Chow and grub

Food prices here are going through the roof right now. My philistine tastes in snacks (such as vino tinto with crisps/chips) are having a rough time because crap food has become even more expensive than the non-crap. Other than that, the charcuterie I usually patronise have reopened from its renovation. Unfortunately, the prices equally ‘renovated.’

Helpfully, IKEA is now my next-best go-to place for getting stuff befitting of my disgustingly European tastes in crap/non-crap food.

My supermarket downstairs is still selling Spanish sangria (a kind of red wine) for HK$29 a 1½-litre bottle, so not too bad. (That’s US$3.74 for 3 US pints, or £2.26 for 2½ UK pints).

Need a new Death Star

In other food-related news, my home microwave died a long time ago. I never got round to buying another because, one, I was lazy and busy with work, and two, I was pretending to be busy to produce exciting and useful posts for you lot. Failed in both, apparently. Other than that, I need to get a new microwave from IKEA.

Chrissymassy decorativity over-spendity

The streets are starting to fill up with Xmas nonsense. Their effect is to shave away the IQ and make people hyper-spend. Believe it or not, I have only one lonely credit card, and it’s usually in the desk drawer. Jesus saves, so I save too…

TV-itis

My telly’s on the flippin’ blink. If I shut it off, I can’t get the channels back on again. So now I just leave it on all the flaming time.

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© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2013. (B13408)