Je suis la nouvelle année

Tuesday 13 January 2015, 7.09am HKT


2.58am local time, 12°C (54°F), cold with heavy rain

I think most of us should be on 2015 by now — and probably falling apart like everything else is already in this world of ours.

Normally on the first day of the new year, I post this sort of embarrassment to remind peep’l just who (and what) is behind the unfunny hilarity of this blog. I broke with my own tradition and posted this shameless nonsense for 2014.

I might as well go with breaking the tradition for this year.

Because heaven knows when the next post will ever come…

object lemon DSC4126

For your viewing pleasure, some nosey-parkery random fun facts about The Naked Listener.

Each item originates from at least one serious, factual, objective detail about me. They’re only done up in a special way to make them seem less serious.

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Elle Ess Dee (Part 2)

Wednesday 14 May 2014, 6.00pm HKT


<< BACK TO PART 1

8.09am local time, 27°C (81°F), rainy days and nights

RHINO AND LOLLY,
BREAD AND HONEY

Life used to be coin-operated.

Nearly everything in the old days was priced, sold, bought and paid for in coins. Then Mammon (Thatcher) came to power. We went full retard and everything began to cost in notes (‘bills’ to our American cousins).

By the way, “bread and honey” is Cockney slang for ‘money.’

‘What’s that in old money?’

decimal coins via UK Metric Association

UK decimal ‘shrapnel’: the 20p came in the 1980s and £1 later still
(via UK Metric Association)

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Elle Ess Dee

Monday 12 May 2014, 8.07am HKT


>> PART 2

10.26pm local time, 24°C (75°F), heavy rain

here he comes imgur

Here he comes again … another nostalgic overdrive…

(via Imgur)

It’s not what you think. I’m not talking about the drug LSD (‘acid’).

Heaven help you people, you know when I’m being nostalgic, it’s TL;DR overdrive.

Recommended background music when reading this:—

Stars on 45: The Charts 1975–1979 on SoundCloud

The length of that medley is EXACTLY the time it takes to read his incredibly longwinded escapade of nostalgia.

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Flight MH370 and the bullshit it shows up

Saturday 22 March 2014, 1.24am HKT


MAS Flight MH370 via Flightradar24.com

(via Flightradar24.com on Facebook — click image for full size)

Disclosure Statement / Legal Notice

This is a lawyered post, i.e. legally cleared for publication. Significant amounts of text have been withdrawn from the original version on legal advice sought at my own instigation. This present published version contains 5,909 words. The pre-lawyered version contained 9,422 words. However, certain portions of the original have been retained but in redacted form (shown by a solid block █████ ) to serve as PRIMA FACIE EVIDENCE OF DUE DILIGENCE AND OVERSIGHT on my part. The blocks (which contain no hidden text or links) show the relative extent of the censorship.

References to persons, firms and/or events appearing herein are removable only through a legally valid removal request. Take notice that I am in my right as The Author to identify the party(ies) serving a removal request, including the reason(s) for it, in an expedient manner such as a blog post or some other publicly accessible announcement. You make removal requests strictly at your own risk.

For more information, please see the Policy & Legal page.

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The Year of the Horse isn’t a euphemism

Wednesday 12 February 2014, 3.40am HKT


The horse-head proposes

9pm local time, 8°C (45°F), overcast and chilly

THIS is my long-promised but SRSLY delayed Chinese New Fear Year post for the Year of the Woodchip Particleboard Horse.

The Chinese Year of the Wood Horse (Whores?) began a whole week ago last Friday (31 Jan) at 23h00 Hong Kong time (Thursday, 30 Jan, 16h00 UTC).

With that kind of delay, anybody could reasonable hit back that I might as well put out a 2014 Christmas post instead. Point taken.

Interestingly, the original ‘lede’ was to have been “Torommow will be…”

Yes, folks, ‘torommow’ is the latest Hong Kong spelling of ‘tomorrow.’ So now my readers are hip, flip and no blip in the hip-speak scene.

Like all Horse years, this year will be a year of horsetrading.

Dafuqizdat?

(Some words and pictures offensive to prudes, or exciting to w@nkers)

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Why brothel creepers are rad’der than you think

Wednesday 23 October 2013, 8.17am HKT


P O P   C U L T U R E

SHOES are the thing that really sets off one generation from the rest of the other rodents.

white rockers creepers

Brothel creepers … a more risqué name there never was

(From my collection)

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