Letters to the Editor: Tango in the South China Sea

Letters to the Editor

I don’t want to make a habit of this but I’ve come to the point of needing a “Letters to the Editor” category for organising and ruining some of my more interesting correspondence.

(via mabryonline.org)

Flight MH370 and the bullshit it shows up

(via Flightradar24.com on Facebook — click image for full size)

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Bon-kyu-bon: The changing of the bibs, bobs and boobs of Asia

Okay, everybody. How’s the womenfolk in your country like?

Having travelled through parts of Asia — many times — I have seen some ‘pancake booty’ (flat behinds) and some ‘basketballs’ (round behinds) and everything else in between, I kind of thought that Filipinas have the [relatively] sexiest Asian derrieres around.

That’s mainly because, even as recently as the 1980s, the typical Asian cleavage was (how to say?) ‘non-distracting.’ Nothing to show, nothing to see.

* * *

General situation

Asian women are small booties. Most have ‘runway’ chest (flat, and ‘chest’ being the operative word).

Indeed, for a long time the Japanese and Koreans were small everything — skinny, looking like 12-year-old boys — kinda sounds really weird and dangerously perverted if you’re into Japanese or Korean chicks looking like that. Srsly.

Chinese women (especially in the north of China) at least make up for their ‘runways’ with height — 5 foot 8 (1.73 metres) or taller — and strong bone structure. Compare that with the usual five-two to five-five (1.55 to 1.65 metres) down south and places like Hong Kong, Macau, Singapore, Taiwan and anywhere else in Asia.

In those other Asian places where the womenfolk have fuller bods, it’s a shame that they’re mostly covered up because of some social or religious reason, so we menfolk have to make do with guesstimates.

* * *

Bods a-changing

Thanks to Westernised (mostly American) diets, the Asian cleavage is changing. Srsly.

Today, Asian women are blowing up! They’ve become heftier, rounder and sexier. The Japanese have a name for that — ‘bon-kyu-bon’ (ボンキュボン ‘good-small-good’ or ‘big-small-big’), meaning fuller bust, slimmer waist and wider hips.

Shame about the face, though

Back in 2007, The Wall Street Journal wrote an article about Japanese retailers trying to cash in on the bon-kyu-bon fashion look and relates to the change in Japanese women’s figures:

“Today, the average Japanese woman’s hips, at 35 inches, are around an inch wider than those of women a generation older. Women in their 20s wear a bra at least two sizes larger than that of their mothers, according to Wacoal [Japan’s largest lingerie company]. Waist size, meanwhile, has gotten slightly smaller, accentuating many young women’s curves.”
— The Wall Street Journal (“Japanese women bust out” by Amy Chozick, 12 May 2007, via thestar.com | Link)

For the Japanese, bon-kyu-bon is the new era of young Japanese women raised on a more Westernised diet of red meat and less seafood and vegetables, helping them grow a more Western-like hourglass figure.

In 2007 even a song came out about bon-kyu-bon — “Bon kyu! Bon kyu! Bomb Girl!” by J-pop idol girl band Morning Musume (モーニング娘 Mōningu Musume) (LINK).

* * *

More than just a diet change

From that WSJ story, you could be forgiven to think that bon-kyu-bon had singlehandedly put an end to the received wisdom that Asian girls are ‘flat.’

Dietary changes do change things, of course. Trouble is, hip size growing an inch more and breast by two cup sizes in the past 50 or 60 years are recorded facts in any country.

The WSJ story chose to explain the rise of bon-kyu-bon this way:—

“The cleavage craze took off in 2003, when a young pop star named Kumi Koda appeared in ads around Tokyo wearing a barely-there metallic bra and not much else. In one image, she wore coconut shells over her chest. Then, two years later, she performed at the televised Japan Record Awards wearing thin tape-like gold satin straps over her breasts that revealed nearly everything when she danced. The [then] 24-year-old star has become the champion of a new ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it’ attitude among young Japanese women.” (Ibid. | Link)

A Japanese woman with a Latina’s behind!

Well, man, that’s your opinion, Mr WSJ.

Blaming Kumi Koda (still very fetching in looks) for bon-kyu-bon is (how to say?) journalistic overkill.

Unless you’ve actually spent an appreciable amount of time in Japan or with Japanese people, here is another factor that spurs many Japanese women to trail the Western obsession with buxom busts, small waists and big hips:

“Japanese women are outstandingly tense and critical of each other. There is a pervasive habit among women to monitor each other with a serious sharp eye to see what kind of slimness they have.”
— Hisako Watanabe, child psychiatrist and assistant professor of pediatrics, Keio University School of Medicine, Tokyo | via )

An atmosphere of unhealthy competition. And it holds true for women in other Asian countries. It’s serious business, srsly.

The Tokyo bon-kyu-bon look
Note the hair colour and shoulder muscles (via)

(click image for larger size)

I happen to think that the heftier cleavage of many Asian women today is because of American-style living becoming more popular throughout the world. And if dietary change has been the result of living a more American-style lifestyle, then I personally reckon the supposedly ‘fuller’ Asian figure since around 10 years ago is really the beginnings of obesity more than anything else.

* * *

TRIVIA

By the way, Bon Kyu Bon is also the name of a Windows software program that uses steganography to encrypt files, so you can hide files behind image files or text.

“However, thanks to its extremely confusing and unintuitive user interface, we were never able to get this freeware to work properly.”
(CNET review, 27 March 2009 | Link)

Kinda the same spiel with this bon-kyu-bon, doesn’t it? Hiding behind something, not working properly…

* * *

No let-up … and spreadin’

Plenty of guys have fallen in love with Japan, honestly speaking, in no small measure to the country’s newfound have-cleavage-will-flaunt department.

(Wasn’t like this when I was living in Tokyo, though.)

Anko-chan at GoGo Dance, Tokyo (via)

(click image for larger size)

The bon-kyu-bon effect (at least as a fashion look) has carried over to South Korea, Thailand and a few other Asian countries.

Koreans

Often playing catch-up to the Japanese in practically everything, South Korea is now almost a carbon copy of Japan, bon-kyu-bon and all.

Just 10 years ago, South Korean women were mostly nondescript. In fact, city chicks 10 years ago used to look like a farmer’s daughter.

Today, South Korea boasts some of the world’s best-looking, most-revealing women around. Plus the country has now lots of girl bands with some terribly skimpy costumes on music video TV channels such as Channel V. Srsly. Conclusion:—

Kor’blimey’rea:
Boobs, bum, bits of brains, bits of bread, bad attitude.

How to get:
An attitude that’s worse than theirs. And be Korean.

Thais

And be astonished in Thailand to see these tall, athletic-looking women with round(er) behinds. Gosh.

Thai-yai-yai:
Brawn, bits of boob, bits of bum, brainless, breadless.

How to get:
Bread will do the trick. (Sad, but true.)

Singaporeans

But the most breathtaking women had to have been those Singaporean flight attendants at the airport in Japan. Man, they were all almost six feet tall, wearing skintight long dress, very form-fitting, with huge extra-round bums! The normal run of Singaporean girls are starting to look a lot like those flight attendants, by the way.

Singapurrs:
Bread, bitch, brains, boobs, bum, bumptious.

How to get:
Brains, bread (lots of), own business, own real estate.

Protip:
You don’t mind being ruled by a control freak.

Chinese mainlanders

Mainland Chinese girls are becoming snazzier in their general appearance, with cleavages to match (though their comportment still needs work).

Choggie birds:
Some boobs, bum, brains, brawn, breadless, bad habits.

How to get:
Bread, passport, willingness to speak Chinese, NO SEX PLEASE.

Taiwanese

Taiwanesehicks are practically over the top with their tops going ‘down to there’ and skirts going ‘up to there,’ especially when droves of them start coming out of the woodwork on a weekend night out.

Taiwana-nana:
Brains, business acumen, boldness, some boob, some bum, some bread.

How to get:
Business acumen, some bread, family, family background.

Protip:
Eurasian with foreign upbringing and passport.

Viets

Vietnamese chicks are fast becoming real chicks. Clearly a positive side effect of Agent Orange, VeeCees are srsly coming out with best assets and srsly revealing. Lots are starting to look like Elly Tran Ha or even porn star Linda Tran. Srsly, they’ll go the full 10 clicks for your 1-oh-5 mike-mike base piece and no BCD if you’re serious about taking her out of the country permanently, even as a moose, namsayin’? What they lack is the knack to not dress in daytime like a porn star or some bitch in a music video when trying to look ‘modern.’

V.C. Charlie’s Daughters a.k.a. Agent Organage:
Breadless, brainless, some boob, some bum, great countenance.

How to get:
Bread, passport, immediate foreign EVACUATION.

Hongkongers

Meantime, Hong Kong females (note use of word ‘females’) remain over-imaginative but under-promiscuous as ever, with loud bitchy voices, outlandish garb reminiscent of cosplay costumes, expensive accessories — and a piss-stream of complaints, demands, aversions and disinclinations.

Hongkie birds:
Bitch, bitching, bitchy, boobless, bumless, boyish, bad taste, brain-damaged, bread.

How to get:
Bread, passport, large house, servants, relocation to warm climes, extreme shopping.

Protip:
Hours of listening to her ‘drama.’

*

What’s your story?

Apologies to all for my blatant chauvinism and objectification here. Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet

(inspired by DirtyRed’s email, 23 Nov 2011)

Images: Bon-kyu-bon in pink dress via Japanese Sugoi ♦ Japanese woman with Latina’s behind via Asian Offbeat ♦ Tokyo bon-kyu-bon look via The Tokyo Pimps ♦ Anko-chan via The Tokyo Pimps.

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© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2011. Updated 27 APR 2014 (formatting corrections).