Published 14 June 2011 | Updated 26 Jan 2013 17 July 2015
THERE ARE posts on The Naked Listener’s Weblog that are particularly well-liked by readers, incredible as that may sound.
Based on WordPress view statistics as well as email and personal threats compliments, the most popular posts on this blog are not in any particular order here — not chronological, for sure.
(Click the story headlines for the full stories)
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What’s New
As of 17 July 2015:—
Why brothel creepers are rad’der than you think
Sections “Guestblogging” and “Posts by Guests” fully transferred to the Guestposts page.
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GUESTBLOGGING & POSTS BY GUESTS
Up-to-date listings on the Guestposts page
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ART, DESIGN & OBJECTS
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Things to beguile the charmless
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
A boozing and cash-elimination holiday season is upon us. What better way than to splurge out on very fetching dingly-danglies?
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Plus the highly popular sidebar:—
These are not the vampires I’m looking for
A detour on the Japanese/Asian insanity of you-are-what-you’ve -got in your veins, as you believe it and spend money on it.
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Will you help me choose my logotype/seal?
Not normally a person who can’t decide (BrE) / make decisions (AmE) for myself, here are a dozen seals (logotypes) I’ve made for this blog just for the lulz. [Read it…]
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Something to tide you over
Yes, folks, life is pretty much at near-standstill for The Naked Listener, a.k.a. the Seeker of Serendipity, the Defender of Italian Virginity, the Spiller of Secrets, etc, etc. [Read it…]
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Picture Post 54: Chastity belt
For those who’ve never seen this thing being worn on the person.“Whatever it’s supposed to do, it only makes you want more.” [Look at it…]
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Spacehead, how many spaces do you use?
It takes quite a lot to get me going round the bend, but what got me in a tizz was the fatheadedness of some people on whether to use one or two character spaces after a full point. [Read it…]
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Smoke detectors compulsory in Japan
All Japanese homes are now required by law to have a smoke detector in every room by this Thursday (1 April). [Read it…]
Editor’s note: Post with the highest-ever number of views/hits for the blog.
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Art: ‘Featherlike’
Gregor Czaykowski is a New Zealand-based concept and game-art cartoonist who produces art in the style of ‘The Curse of Monkey Island,’ an adventure game of LucasArts. [Read it…]
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Panforte morbido
The whole imperial Roman (and therefore Italian) experience is to be overwhelmed and die in an orgy of taste. Strong food, strong drink, strong dessert. The descendants of Roman gods are not wimps, my friend. [Read it…]
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Living for what
Can there by a more profound message from a stationery testing sample? A picture post that worth more than a thousand words. [Read it…]
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No stinkin’ ink here
You would think that a shopping paradise the likes of Hong Kong would stock an item that’s almost too widely available around the world. Be surprised. [Read it…]
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TRADECRAFT & OTHER LIES
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You don’t blog? 12 fabulous steps to start doing it
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
If you’re grownup and puerile and also somebody’s offspring, you too can start up a blog whilst seeing nothing interesting to write about. From startup steps to copydesk skills, these are the tricks and lies of the trade that we call ‘tradecraft.’
The mega feature is also available as a colour and monochrome PDF download [here].
Sidebar 1 | ‘One lump or two, luv?’
Sidebar 2 | ‘A dead man’s switch for a live person’
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Notes: Bikers in Hong Kong
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
In our raw capitalist city where living space is microscopic and living costs are astronomical, choppers are the preserve of corporates. The hoi-polloi make do with public transport.
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CULTURAL LITERACY
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NEW! Added 17 July 2015
Why brothel creepers are rad’der than you think
Shoes are the thing that really sets off one generation from another. Nothing still says ‘alternative’ quite like a pair of brothel creepers. True.
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Joe Bonamassa Live in Hong Kong
American blues guitarist and singer Joe Bonamassa really wowed fans at his one-night-only gig in Hong Kong. It was flippin’ incredible, to say the least. [Read it…]
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How well do you know your guitars?
Before I headed off to hospital for my medical leave of absence, let’s have you people talk about guitars. Guitars, so that means acoustic as well as electric ones (including bass) just so people don’t get the wrong idea. [Read it…]
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Hongkies get bum rap work-wise
The Hongkonger is decidedly not one of the better-liked groups of people in the world in some places that may surprise you. [Read it…]
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Ignorant reportage
Found a note I wrote last year about a TV news item (problem language underlined)… [Read it…]
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People in Hong Kong who know shite about English
Stop trying so hard. Stop combining outdated phrases with mock-Victorian pronunciations and pseudo-Chinese word meanings. You’re doin’ it wrong.
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Resourceful
Nothing opens up your eyes (or your anger) than a mind stuck in its own smartness. The Naked Listener is sick and tired of having to explain things to people who ask but won’t listen, and then turn the tables back on you. [Read it…]
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LIFE & LIVING
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Clockenflap 2011: You’ll never believe what I’m telling you now
One commenter said this three-part feature should have been renamed “The Phenomenology of the Concert Attendee.” The music and arts festival was amazingballs. Srsly. Insights and protips right up your alley.
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Air-conditioning myths exploded
10-part mega-feature
We are mostly misled about air-conditioning. This overlong but incredibly fascinating 10-part mega-feature explodes some air-conditioning propaganda because I’m angry and sick and tired of fixing my two jackass ACs year in, year out, every bloody summer. [Read it from Part 1…]
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How to bottle things up inside
It was one helluva bad-hair day. I get one life, and one life is all I get in this world. It’s not the life I paid for, but it’s a little late now to do anything about it, short of a drastic Subscription Termination to Life. I’m crazy, but not that crazy.
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Red Bull F1 Dragon Run
As a biker (of the motorcycle variety), I do my level best to turn up at racing gigs, such as the Red Bull F1 Dragon Run 2011 in Hong Kong. I promise you, the pictures get better as you go down… [Read it…]
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Noisy underground trains? Not!
Here’s a piece of local news that’s characteristically brain-damaged enough to make it to the late-night news … it’s not 65 decibels, Mr Acoustic Scientist. It’s your IQ score. [Read it…]
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Siege mentality taking hold, strangely enough
Overheard this morning at breakfast time… [Read it…]
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6 observations of a winter’s day
Today and probably the next two days will be the last of the Hong Kong winter. Right now, it’s 11°C (52°F) at 5pm local time (9am GMT). [Read it…]
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If you don’t see this blog updated for 20 days or more, you know I’ve been arrested
Catchy headline, right? No, that’s not the story. [Read it…]
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AD LIBBING LIFE
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Bon-kyu-bon: the changing of the bibs, bobs and boobs of Asia
Having travelled through parts of Asia — many times — I have seen some ‘pancake booty’(flat behinds) and some ‘basketballs’ (round behinds) and everything else in between, I kind of thought that Filipinas have the [relatively] sexiest Asian derrieres around. Was I wrong. [Read it…]
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Tattoos: the whys and wherefores
Would you ever get a tattoo? If you had one, what made you decide to get your first? If you don’t have one, why wouldn’t you ever consider getting one? [Read it…]
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Where to live when you retire
Sometimes we’re brainlessly brainwashed and bought into the game of received wisdom (put out by those who may not always have our best interest at heart) that we miss our own best interests altogether. [Read it…]
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Things that creep out women
Nine stupid stunts guys do that creep out chicks they want to hit on, and what they can do to fix them. [Read it…]
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Have mercy on our remembrances…
First of May — May Day’s the name, Labour Day’s the game, or Divine Mercy Sunday for the tame. Nearly half the year’s gone. Time to bitch and sound off about being old enough to remember things or too late to die young. [Read it…]
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If you’ve just turned 18 and want to booze a bit…
You’ve just turned eighteen. You’re a lamefag and you have a problem. You’re socially awkward and want to go have a drink at the pub, your first time ever. You’re a luser because you’re going to the pub with another 18 year old of the same sex who’s also socially awkward. [Read it…]
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For pagans, today is the Roman new year
Before the day is out, just like to remind the pagans in some of us that today (1st March) is also the Kalendas Martias — the start of the Roman New Year. [Read it…]
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Happy birthday, Wales!
“She accidentally the whole bottle!” (Read on and find out the whys and wherefores of this.) [Read it…]
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Have you got an odd name?
When it comes to bizarre Western names, the Chinese really beats the cake. Welcome to the latest extreme sport: stand out from the crowd with a memorable name. [Read it…]
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Names, names, names everywhere
Names and high stuff from everywhere. Enjoy. [Read it…]
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WORK, HEALTH & SOCIAL CONTROL
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Social sins to avoid for fun and profit
Plus the sidebar “Leave me alone with the crowd around me”
Rules of social intercourse change constantly, not just on social networking sites but in real life. Whatever the rules for your locale, they rest on four factors — make no gaffes in this department with help from The Naked Listener.
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Midautumn Festival a.k.a. Lunacy Festival
Somebody said it might be a good idea that I record my own understanding of the festival in case that gets lost in the midst of time and Internet space. This is an amended version of my comment at Seeing Red in China. [Read it…]
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The Naked Listener’s Top 100 Lifehacks
One hundred easy things anybody over 20 should know. Or everything you ever wanted to know about how to live but missed out on because you prefer to piss around with paid-for advice. [Read it…]
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Leave me alone with the crowd around me
“That Question” is the one question that almost instantly alters your entire perception of everybody else around you. And sooner or later there’s always someone who had to ask it. [Read it…]
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The Naked Listener’s top 10 lifehacks for the first-time jobhunter or employee
First time out in the real world? Back to the workforce after a while away? Got kicked out of home? No worries. The Naked Listener is pleased to divvy up useful hacks for the newbie employee, regardless the number of years you’ve actually already been working.
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New party is no party, not new, not with-it
It’s the same old story: if the one you’ve got doesn’t work anymore, respawn into another with the same characteristics.
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You pay peanuts, you get … a punch in the goolies
Below is a real advertisement on Craigslist Hong Kong (if you can call stuff anywhere on Craigslist ‘real’). Just read it and you’ll see why.
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Experts rehash advice from the pits to curb smoking
In China, one state agency is trying to get people to quit smoking while another tries to get them to smoke. [Read it…]
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6 ways corporations and governments deal with opponents
I’ve decided to redact this post because (a) I’m a lawyer by training and (b) this is stuff learnt the hard way in law school…
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6 ways corporate vultures and titans of capital profit from our suffering
As if you didn’t know this already, here is a refresher on the 6 basic modern profiteering techniques… [Read it…]
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Response: How tough is medicine?
Friend of mine put this question to me on Facebook, and I thought a blogpost would best answer it rather than spilling my beans there with a tl;dr response. [Read it…]
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The cold, the old and the ignored
With cognac in hand, sitting in the comfort of my home with all the windows wide open because I’m loopy enough to adore the cold, I got thinking about the homeless and the destitute. [Read it…]
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Lifehack: How to be happy at work
Everyone knows how bad business conditions are getting all over the world. As remarkable as it sounds, the path to happiness is open to all. There is no magic to it, only common sense. [Read it…]
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SPECIAL SERIES
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Serious business, srsly, just try pissing me off now
You should know this if you have a family member abroad. Srsly, it’s serious business. [Read it…]
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Srsly, I don’t wanna shat bricks
A lone daughter in a strange land and in trouble. It’s serious business. Today, details are trickling in. Srsly, to shat bricks I don’t want. I’m too brick-shattingly old for this. [Read it…]
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Srsly, this is how you get your kids killed
Kids are the joy of our lives. We love them, do everything and anything to protect them, and make sure no harm comes to them. Then don’t bleeding well have good intentions if you can’t handle the heat of protecting your kids. [Read it…]
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Srsly, it’s serious business if you wanna be serious about serious business
The New World was discovered after gruelling sea voyages that lasted years. It wasn’t new, or even much of a world to speak of. Heroes are heroes because they’ve learnt to hit the ground running. Wusses are wusses because they hit the ground running for cover. [Read it…]
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Serious business this, my mind’s totally blown
Srsly, saving others is not a pastime. It’s got to be worth it for the savee as much as it is for you. It’s serious business when you can’t figure out if you’re in fact taking a plunge without first checking the pool has water or not. [Read it…]
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FUN FACTS ABOUT THE NAKED LISTENER
(a.k.a. Seeker of Serendipity, Defender of Italian Virginity, Spiller of Secrets, etc, etc)
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The most amazing way to change your looks
Look at this picture and tell me if that doesn’t completely change the impression you could create on others.
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Blogger bio: Me!
More than a dozen years of blogging and other online writing, at least one About page, one About me page, one Statement page on my personal philosophy — and STILL the ungrateful sods people say there’s nothing in this blog (or elsewhere) about me! Talk about paying attention…
Editor’s note 2012-03-06: The article is now reset as the About me page.
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Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire
I’ve always been a big sucker for questionnaires. Even for those perverse (and perverted) questionnaires that are put out by linguists (as in linguistics), sociologists and psychotics psychologists.
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Two years’ walking
I spent 37 months in crutches after being run into by a pedestrian. Two dozen months later, now is a good time as any to talk about the various superpowers you could develop from being disabled.
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© The Naked Listener’s Weblog, 2011–2015. Images via blogpost links.
CHANGELOG
Created and released 14 June 2011
Updated 9 times in 2011 (Jun 22; Jul 14; Aug 04, 05; Sep 02; Oct 15; Nov 04, 09; Dec 28)
Furloughed 15 March 2012
Reinstated 20 June 2012 with link and typo fixes
Updated 6 times in 2012 (Jul 17; Aug 12, 24; Oct 08, 23; Dec 06)
Updated twice in 2013 (Jan 20, 26)
Updated 17 July 2015 (new entry, formatting fixes, rearrangements)
The Naked Listener's Weblog 